February 14 is around the corner and with it comes one of the most disliked holidays of the year: Valentine’s Day. As couples scramble to find gifts and singles complain about the commercialized day, many will look for songs to celebrate the holiday. How better to commemorate Valentine’s Day 2012 than with a mix of the worst love songs of all time?
Take a look at some of our least favorite classic, crude, cheesy, and guilty-pleasure love songs.
14. Starland Vocal Band – “Afternoon Delight” (1976) This 1976 classic definitely gets its message across. If the name doesn’t quite give away the goal of the song, the lyrics certainly will. Most recently popularized in Will Ferrell’s movie “Anchorman,” “Afternoon Delight” is a classic rock love song that wins our worst love song award for most obvious wordplay.
“Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite / and the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting.”
13. Eric Clapton – “Wonderful Tonight” (1977) It may be a classic love song from the late 70s, but “Wonderful Tonight” is cheesy and overplayed. Clapton originally wrote the song about Pattie Boyd while waiting for her to get ready to attend Paul and Linda McCartney’s annual Buddy Holly Party. Since Clapton first thought of the song, it has been played endlessly in films and romantic scenes. “Wonderful Tonight” wins our worst love song award for being too overplayed.
“I feel wonderful because I see / The love light in your eyes.”
12. ‘N Sync – “(God Must Have Spent) A little More Time on You” (1997)
Almost every love song made by a boy band could qualify as a terrible love song, but “(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You” is especially painful. The song was released on ‘N Sync’s self-titled debut album in 1997. While the song may have made teens swoon in the 90s, today the song is certainly cringe-worthy. “(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You” wins our award for worst love song from a boy band.
“I never thought that love could feel like this and you’ve changed my world with just one kiss.”
11. Meatloaf – “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” (1977) “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” is a love song released on Meatloaf’s 1977 album “Bat Out of Hell.” The song in of itself is less offensive than many of the others on this list. It isn’t cheesy, crude, or overplayed, but it certainly isn’t nice either.
“I want you, I need you but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you, don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad.”
10. Seal – “Kiss from a Rose” (1994) “Kiss from a Rose” was first released as a single in 1994 and won the Grammy Award for Song of the Year in 1996. The 90s love song may sound sweet, but a close examination of the lyrics reminds listeners how nauseating love can really be.
“You became the light on the dark side of me. Love remained a drug that’s the high and not the pill.”
9. The Police – “Every Breath You Take” (1983) Best stalker song ever. Enough said.
“Every breath you take, And every move you make, Every bond you break, every step you take, I’ll be watching you.”
8. Britney Spears – “Sometimes” (1999) “Sometimes” gained worldwide success in the 90s as Britney Spears’ fame skyrocketed. The annoying song is a far cry from the more popular “Oops!... I Did It Again” or “…Baby One More Time” and qualifies as one of the worst (but most innocent) love songs of the 90s. The only thing worse than this song is its music video.
“Sometimes I run, Sometimes I hide, Sometimes I’m scared of you, But all I really want is to hold you tight, Treat you right, Be with you day and night, Baby, All I need is time.”
7. Bryan Adams – “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” (1991) “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” was enormously popular in the U.S. and the UK. The power ballad topped the charts in 30 countries and became one of the best-selling singles of all time. Despite its popularity, “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” has been overplayed. Steer clear of the song this Valentine’s Day.
“Search your heart, search your soul / And when you find me there you’ll search no more”
6. Eddie Murphy – “Put Your Mouth On Me” (1989) “Put Your Mouth On Me” is fantastically crude. This 1989 hit wins our award for best-worst love song.
“It’s so hard babe, it’s so hard for you to see, yeah / Just put your mouth on me”
5. Al Green – “Let’s Stay Together” “Let’s Stay Together” may be a classic love song, but the antiquated lyrics are painful today. The song has recently gained popularity after U.S. President Barack Obama sang a few brief phrases of the song at the Apollo Theater in New York City for a fundraiser.
“Let me, be the one you come running to / I’ll never be untrue / Ooo baby”
4. Chris Isaak – “Wicked Game” (1989) “Wicked Game” has all the makings of a love song; it is eerily seductive, sad and romantic all at once. And yet, “Wicked Game” is painful to the ears.
“I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you / And I never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you”
3. Savage Garden – “Truly Madly Deeply” (1997) “Truly Madly Deeply” produced by Australian-duo, Savage Garden, is instantly painful and manages to get worse. A close contender for worst love song by a boy band in the 90s, “Truly Madly Deeply” wins the award for worst love song lyrics… by far.
“And I want to stand with you on a mountain / I want to bathe with you in the sea / I want to lay like this forever / Until the sky falls down on me”
2. James Blunt – “You’re Beautiful” (2007) Whiny and repetitive, “You’re Beautiful” is cheesy with little to redeem it.
“You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, it’s true. / I saw your face in a crowded place and I don’t know what to do / Cause I’ll never be with you”
1. Celine Dion – “My Heart Will Go On” (2007) If Celine Dion hadn’t already, “Titanic” certainly ruined this song.
“Every night in my dreams / I see you, I feel you / That is how I know you go on”
What do you think are the worst love songs of all time?