10. “Those two American hikers should’ve been jailed for stupidity alone! I mean, who the hell goes hiking in Iraq??”

9. “Can you believe Meg Whitman is about to take over Hewlett-Packard?? Talk about crazy!”

8. “REM split up? Man, they kinda went downhill after the ‘Green’ album.”

7. “Wouldn’t it be funny if that NASA satellite fell on top of Ron Paul’s head?? Imagine the conspiracy theories that would spawn!”

6. “If you Americans can’t pronounce my name, I can also answer to ‘Dick Smith.’”

5. “We in Iran think 9-11 was an inside job. We also think Chef Boyardee was a real person.”

4. “We’re developing nuclear power only because we wanna build a cool submarine like the one they used to have on “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea.”

3. “Assad is a really nice guy. You just don’t know him the way I do!”

2. “I just wanna thank my rabbi -- er, uh, I mean, my imam -- for guiding me through all my ups and downs in life!”

1. “Any of you guys got Sarah Palin’s number?”