Episode three of “Arrested Development’s” fourth season tells Lindsay’s story after the party boat was stopped by police at the end of season 3. Titled, “Indian Takers,” the episode follows the adopted Bluth as she “tries to reclaim her sense of self while traveling and getting back to her political activist roots.”
In an attempt to reawaken herself, Lindsay ends her marriage and packs up and heads to India for a spiritual journey. Attempting to let go of material things, Lindsay leaves behind her family – while shopping on the plane for an inflatable hat bag and self-cleaning cat litter box (in case she ever gets a hat or a cat).
Lindsay schedules a meeting with a shaman at her hotel who tells her that she’s “full of s**t,” and must begin to live her life truthfully. He then rips her fake handbag (“just look at the spinning”), and tells her “love is where you left it.”
Deciding to head back home to Tobias, Lindsay returns to the hotel desk to complain about the shaman ripping her bag, but the front desk tells her that her credit card has been declined and that they had to cancel her appointment with the shaman. Confused because she just talked to him, Lindsay turns back to see an ostrich in his place. Taking the shaman/ostrich’s advice, Lindsay decides to head home to Tobias, but is forced to call Lucille for help. Lucille agrees to give her the money in exchange for Lindsay attending the trial as her loving daughter with Tobias.
Lindsay and Tobias decide to give their relationship another go by buying a house (without jobs, money, etc.). With Lucille’s money in mind (promised to Lindsay after she makes a convincing statement at her trial), their real estate agent (guest star Ed Helms) convinces them to get a huge gated house with a four-car garage, wine cellar and more (“that way you have it”) – and they can’t afford to furnish it.
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Lindsay works on her testimony for Lucille’s trial – and it’s completely ridiculous. “When I was hungry I suckled at her champagne glass breasts,” Lindsay says, believing the line to be a joke. Turns out Buster wrote something similar at summer camp (Camp Kissa-Me-Mommy). But Lucille is dead serious, adding the line in, “I hope she gives me bubble baths forever.”
Lindsay begins to get nervous about their house payments when Lucille says that she won’t pay if the testimony from Lindsay isn’t believable. Tobias convinces Lindsay to go with him to an acting clinic so that she can make the testimony convincing. The method acting clinic turns out actually to be the “methadone clinic” – which Tobias thought was an acting group, Method One Clinic.
Tobias and Lindsay befriend a couple named Mark and Dabre, and the four head to a barter restaurant for a double date. Lindsay decides to take off with Mark when he tells her that he runs an ostrich farm. The pair hook up (“wow, that was so fast”) and then Lindsay learns that he suffers from the same problem Brad Pitt has – face blindness. Mark can’t tell if she’s pretty or not, and tells her that he only slept with her to make sure she wasn’t a man.
Lindsay calls Tobias to let him know that she’s running off with Mark, and then proceeds to cut her hair in an attempt to be “less glamorous.”
Funniest moment: A flashback to a Thanksgiving when Lindsay forgot to make the holiday meal. In a Thanksgiving miracle, Lindsay opens up a cabinet to find a duck inside, and Tobias, Maeby and Lindsay manage to get it into the oven – alive.