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Not everyone is a sports fan. But, this Sunday, if only for the afternoon more than 110 million people will be watching the Super Bowl.
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For football fans this is the highest of high holidays; the glorious culmination of what we have spent almost six months discussing, dissecting and agonizing over.
Everyone knows some fans like that, in fact, you'll probably be watching the game with a few of them. If you aren't one of those fans who will be glued to every second of the action (or if you just want to see the commercials) here are a few things to keep in mind to keep the peace on the biggest sports day of the year.
A Time to Every Purpose
Sorry ladies, but this one is usually on you.
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A scene of fans watching the Super Bowl will undoubtedly involve lots of screaming, yelling, cursing and crying - depending on who is there and who is winning - but there is a time and a place.
Conversations about things not related to the game while the action is happening are rude. You wouldn't appreciate it if someone rambled about football through your favorite television show, so keep your discussions about this week's episode of Top Chef away from our football game, that's what Wednesday nights are for.
If you have to discuss the finer points of why Grayson was asked to pack her knives, move out of earshot of the television. We don't tell you about the game this weekend while you are trying to listen to Padma explain this week's quick-fire challenge.
Silence is Golden
Not to be sexist, but here's one for the men.
Don't talk for the sake of talking. If you aren't a football fanatic, that's ok, it's not a slight on your manhood. But don't try to cover your lack of specific knowledge with general bits you've picked up around the sports bar. When you start pontificating on the merits of the spread offense when the team on the screen is punting we want to pull our hair out.
When a die-hard hears that, they are left with two options: point out your mistake which makes them a jerk, or grind their teeth in frustrated silence at your foolishness. When in doubt, don't blurt it out.
Save the Diet for Monday
There are few things more American than the Super Bowl. It's our game, so much so that we have turned it into a holiday, like other holidays, gluttony is encouraged and perhaps even celebrated.
