"JT & Dale Talk Jobs" is the largest nationally syndicated career advice column in the country and can be found at JTandDale.com.

Dear J.T. & Dale: What do you think about family members as references? (My last employers have gone out of business.) — Trey

J.T.: Avoid it at all costs. Hiring managers will assume that family is biased and will say only nice things about you. Even those who work in a family business need to try to get non-related co-workers to act as references. If need be, reach out to people with whom you've worked on volunteer projects. The goal is to find people who don't have the same last name as you!

"JT & Dale Talk Jobs" is the largest nationally syndicated career advice column in the country and can be found at JTandDale.com.

Dear J.T. & Dale: After close to 10 years of work in my field, I quit my full-time job to go back to graduate school for an MBA. I completed the degree and then landed the job I currently have, which is my first managerial job. However, it's a small company, and I'm the only one in my department. I want to relocate in the next year with my husband, and I'd love to get another managerial job. Do you think employers will take me seriously? — Angela

Dale: You may be interested to learn, Angela, that the most important determinant of leadership success is the desire to be a leader. So I feel certain you'll do well. Getting there, remember a manager doesn't solely manage people — she also manages the department's schedule, standards, purchasing and performance. Thus, even when you're a department of one, you truly are a manager.

"JT & Dale Talk Jobs" is the largest nationally syndicated career advice column in the country and can be found at JTandDale.com.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I have gone through career assessment counseling three different times, and while the results are consistent, I still hate my work. How can I get some help finding a career where I am making a contribution and am valued for that contribution? — Judd

Dale: Done properly, good career counseling locates the intersections between your skills and economic realities. But GREAT counseling will help you not only think through your options but feel your way through the emotional connection to work.

"JT & Dale Talk Jobs" is the largest nationally syndicated career advice column in the country and can be found at JTandDale.com.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I had my annual performance review and was surprised, shocked and floored by this comment: "It is imperative special attention is put on the way some messages are delivered and how it comes across. The tone can sound demanding and harsh." When I asked for an explanation, my manager stated, "You know what this is about," and he refused to discuss it. I have not received any reprimands or warnings. Nothing. — Angelo

Dale: Someday you'll look back and smile at the irony of a criticism about poor communication being so poorly communicated. But for now, I'd like to invite you to take your manager's remark as an invitation: Here is your chance to prove that you are coachable, even if you don't have a great coach.

"JT & Dale Talk Jobs" is the largest nationally syndicated career advice column in the country and can be found at JTandDale.com.

Dear J.T. & Dale: Everything I've read about job searching lately says you should be very specific about the type of job you want so you can focus on the best opportunities. Well, I have a clear idea of what I want to do next, but can't seem to find any job postings for it. What should I do? — Amanda

Dale: What you should NOT do is focus solely on yourself. I've always been skeptical of the "do what you love, the money will follow" philosophy — ask any poet. The advantage in narrowing your job search is to jump out of the long line of applicants for generalist positions and jump into the shorter lines where companies are looking for specialists. To do that, you have to understand your target market — not just what you're selling, but who's buying.

There's something I tell all professionals looking to advance their careers. When it comes to marketing yourself to employers, remember this piece of advice:

You are not special, but you are unique.

Those who know how to leverage their uniqueness are the ones who create satisfying and successful careers. There is no point in looking for a good job if you aren't 100% sure what "good" is for you! Which means, you need to identify and embrace what you want to leverage about yourself so you can find success on your own terms.

"JT & Dale Talk Jobs" is the largest nationally syndicated career advice column in the country and can be found at JTandDale.com.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I just heard about a great job that might be opening up in my company. Should I wait until it is officially posted to talk to the manager who'll be doing the hiring? — Dustin

Dale: Pause just long enough to prepare to do it right, and then jump in. Even if they go ahead and interview a lot of people, there is a psychological advantage to being the first or last person to interview for a job — psychologists call it "primacy" and "recency," the tendency to remember the first and last in a chain. (For example, if you've had a lot of bosses, you easily recall the first and the last, right?)

"JT & Dale Talk Jobs" is the largest nationally syndicated career advice column in the country and can be found at JTandDale.com.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I haven't been able to find a job in any of the areas I'm interested in, so I'm left to apply for jobs I don't really want. How do I show enthusiasm and get hired for something I don't want? I feel I'm being deceptive, and see it as having to put on an act. — Connie

Dale: I'm not sure if this will help, but the fact is job interviews are the stage for much of the world's best acting. I conduct seminars for managers, and I always tell them, "The person you interview is never the person you hire."

"JT & Dale Talk Jobs" is the largest nationally syndicated career advice column in the country and can be found at JTandDale.com.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I was working in HR before I was displaced due to the economic downturn almost two years ago. I have been doing temporary work or living on unemployment. My situation has become nearly desperate, although during this interim I have gotten out of debt, and my fiancee and I bought a house. Recently, however, my fiancee has become completely frustrated with my lack of direction, and thinks I should go back to school or just take a crappy job simply to be doing something. What can I do to build a network? I'm even willing to do volunteer work. I'm in a horrible job rut, and I feel alone. — Chris

Dale: To be married or engaged to someone who's out of work, and to remain upbeat and supportive for an extended time, takes a saint. The truth is, most of us aren't saints. It's almost inevitable that doubts and suspicions will creep in. I explore this subject in the free e-book/audio called "It's a Wonderful Job," available at www.dauten.com.