Bigger is better, right? Wrong. At least, according to Brooklyn’s Kings County Bar, which gained online viral fame this weekend after announcing its first-ever contest to find the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn.
According to a Craigslist post by the pageant sponsor, Kings County Bar is searching for men 21 and older willing to proudly take home a title that might embarrass most others. The bar plans to conduct the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest as a pageant-style competition, meaning contestants will also be judged on talent, evening wear and swimsuits, as well as their natural equipment.
Men wishing to earn the title must be available to participate in person at the bar’s pageant on July 20. And if you’re worried that the event is simply being held to mock the contestants, it appears to be a genuine competition. According to the bar’s advertisement in the Village Voice, the pageant plans to “celebrate small penises and those who rock them with confidence.”
Despite the explicit nature of the contest, contestants are not expected to be fully nude during the judging portion. Instead, it seems the contestants will basically be taking part in a modified wet T-shirt contest. Per the Craigslist post, “Nudity is not required, but you should be comfortable getting hosed down while wearing only skimpy underwear (we will provide the underwear!).” Maybe that will give a bit of comfort to some Brooklyn men who are interested, but hesitant in the competition.
Anyone interested in applying to participate in the pageant can email SPB.firstname.lastname@example.org. But it may be best to use a burner email address.
Eric Brown is an IBTimes reporter who eats far too much pizza. He is a graduate of Mercer University in Macon, Georgia, and currently resides in Brooklyn.