Recently, I've met some job seekers I can only describe as great characters for a motion picture comedy. I wish sometimes I could record these individuals and post them here so all you Careerealists could offer them advice - I guarantee there would be a field day in the comment section! That being said, I thought I'd throw up some examples of the silly job seekers I've encountered.
Now casting stars for the upcoming job seeker comedy, Career Misfits.
The Excusinator - These job seekers have an excuse for EVERYTHING. They don't apply for any positions because they write-off job after job for the littlest things. Combined with their incredible ability to procrastinate, they are shocked when yet another week has gone by and they haven't made any progress on their job search. Watch this video to witness an Excusinator in action:
The Mind-melding Thinkster - These job seekers assume their telepathic powers and mental superiority will enable them to convince people to offer them jobs. While they say or do nothing, they sincerely believe employers will figure out they are the perfect candidate for the job. And why not? They've spent the last 2 months locked in their house, not talking to anyone, so they could use their super-human brain capabilities to design their resume. They are convinced a mere glance at their credentials should get them the interview. The Mind-melding Thinksters are shocked when they complete 100+ on-line applications and don't hear back from a single employer. Forget networking to find someone they know at the company, or even picking up the phone and making a follow-up call to see where the company is in the hiring process - this job seeker doesn't want to actually have to communicate with anyone to get the job.
The Talk-o-holic - The complete opposite of the Mind-melding Thinksters, these job seekers have verbal diarrhea. It's a non-stop, 24/7 , me, me, me discussion. They LOVE meeting new people, but for all the WRONG reasons. They accost strangers, past colleagues, family, friends, friends of friends, etc., blatantly trying to figure out in 30-seconds or less whether or not you can help them land a job. After a quick sizing up, if you don't seem valuable, they abruptly dump you for their next victim. But, that's far better than what happens to the poor folks who they think could help them. The Talk-o-holic corners them, demanding introductions and pushing them for referrals. When the uncomfortable encounter is over, victims have to go home and take a shower to get the Talk-o-holic's drool off them.
The Negativesaurus - These job seekers are the ultimate joy-kill. Every other word they utter is negative. Nobody wants to be around them - especially employers! They complain non-stop. If a t-shirt was created that said, Poor Me. Ask Why. - they'd buy it. Everything about them scares people away, which only makes them feel even more sorry for themselves. Heavens forbid they focus on the positives in their life. And honestly, while they don't see it, they are being really selfish. Pushing a negative attitude on to others is self-serving. Nobody invited them to show up and make people feel uncomfortable. Come to think of it - that's an ideal job for the Negativesaurus! Anyone hiring demotivation experts these days?
There is a way to avoid being one of these characters - join me and find out!
Okay, so I'm being a bit cheeky with the descriptions above. (Although, I swear I really have met these types of folks and I know you have too!) However, if you are saying to yourself, Well, I might be just a tiny bit guilty of being one of these, then I've got a solution.
Join me over at CAREEREALISM Club where we discuss daily the right way to build a framework for a successful job search. Learn how to avoid becoming a 'job search character' that employers don't want. Better still, we'll share the simple secrets to being irresistible to hiring managers.
PS - Have you met any of the above? Tell us about them!
Got any good stories to share about your experience with similar individuals? Share them below and let's all have a laugh! Better still, got anything witty to say to them? I'm not good with the snappy one-liners, so I'd love to hear what you would say to these folks to provide some comic relief.