Christmas Jokes 2017: Funny Riddles And Holiday One-Liners For Kids And Adults

With Christmas just days away, its the perfect time for some fun and laughter with friends and family. While people are preparing for celebrations for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, adding some humor to the enjoyment can never be a bad idea.

Below are some funny riddles and one-liners that can be shared with kids and adults this festive season, collected from the Telegraph and Jokes4Us.

Q: Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing stockings?

A: They're always dropping their needles.

• Tis the season to awkwardly walk by someone ringing a bell.- Brian Hope ‏

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

A: Claustrophobic.

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet at Christmas?

A: Only 25, because there's Noel.

• If you've ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you've seen me wrapping Christmas presents.- Just Bill

Q: What cereal do elves eat for breakfast?

A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: Why did Santa send his daughter to college?

A: To keep her off the North Pole

• A perfectly managed Christmas correct in every detail is a sure sign of someone who hasn't enough to do.- Katherine Whitehorn

Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

A: Because it soots him.

Q: What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?

A: Stick with me, and we'll go places.

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

A: Because he had low elf esteem.

• My ability to turn holiday joy into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into weight gain.- Smug Lemur ‏

Q: What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?

A: A rebel without a Claus.

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

• Cash is the one gift everyone despises and no one turns down.- Mignon McLaughlin

Q: Who doesn't eat on Christmas?

A: A turkey because it is always stuffed.

Q: What do lawn ornaments do over winter break?

A: Go gnome for the holidays.