Ryan Dunn, the former MTV star of the hit show “Jackass,” wrote the following column for “Chester Country Cuisine and Night Life” of Chester County, Pa., in April 2009:
Hello everyone. This is my first time trying to be legitimately interesting. It’s not exactly flowing out of me, but I’m yearning for interest. I was asked to write on a recurring basis and it’s both exciting and utterly scary. I want to create a basis and protocol for what’s to come, but am unable to distract my brain from the booze, friends and everything void of responsibility, all of which is so beautiful in my life. I have had a relatively blessed existence that’s flawed in every great way available, yet I still have something I’m eager to say … I think that the series of words I’m trying to articulate is: I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IM DOING!!!!
With that said, and with my least sincere apologies …. Here are my complaints for today and for each and every reoccurring day from here on, well, until you stop reading my incoherent ramblings.
Is it just me, or is everything annoying to the umpteenth degree? I’m annoyed currently by this project. I agreed to this with open eagerness and now I just want to get drunk, forget everything and enjoy my naïveté. But I don’t have the ability to give up!
I made a living being an idiot and now have a hard time differentiating myself from the lack of expectation that has surrounded me in the last 10 years. I’ve always believed that I can do anything ... yet, I did them to least common denominator. I digress, I need to contain and focus my thoughts and plan to with future writings, but for now, this is who I am, and this is what im writing.
My idea for “Random Rants” is exactly what it sounds like: Yelling, complaining and my general malaise for seemingly mundane day-to-day experiences that otherwise, should and more often than not, go unnoticed. Granted, I will from time to time delve into more significant topics, but overall, if I were you, I’d keep a lowered expectation. Have I lowered the bar enough? If your not tripping over it, then no.
I’m not exactly sure who ok’d the idea of slapping me in front of a computer and giving me free reign, but thanks and no thanks! Random ranting is something I’m fairly certain I’m good at, but to actually put pen to paper is a whole other ball game. Trying to maintain cohesive thoughts over an extended period of time is proving a bit difficult. I’ll use this initial installment to just lay all this out there. I am extremely opinionated. And those opinions are the right ones. Trust me.
Thank you for reading. I hope I gave you an idea of who I am and what to expect. Take care till next time.