Healing Tips for the Broken Hearted Job Seeker

Someone once told me a corporation was a nasty thing to fall in love with - because it will NEVER love you back. The rules of loyalty in the work force are changing. No one can deny that.

However, knowing this doesn't change the pain of getting laid off or let go. It hurts. It can wound.

Each of us reacts in one of two ways, either by getting pissed off and hating the company we used to love, or by blaming ourselves in what can be called a state of numbness.

These wounds deserve every bit of healing we have. However, because our financial situation may depend on sweeping the pain aside and getting another job as quickly as possible, we might need a strategy of getting past this stage.

For those of you who can't afford to wait 3 months to regroup, lick the wounds and find your emotional footing again, I offer these simple speed coping tips.

1. Stop the Story: Stop replaying the day you got the pink slip. Stop repeating the story that is upsetting you. Instead, replace it with what you need to do right now.

2. Stop and Breathe: Calm down. You can never get anywhere if your mind is still in a fighting mode or if you are numb. Wake up in the morning and count 10 breaths. Allow your mind to come back down.

3. Allow the Parts: Allow the part of you that is angry to be angry - on the weekend when you can afford it. Allow that part of you that is sad or afraid to feel that way, after 5 PM when you've completed your job search tasks for the day.

4. Let it Out: Find new ways to channel the emotion. If you punch, then punch a punching bag. If you shout, then shout in the car on the highway. If you cry, then give yourself space to do that. And when you are done, leave the emotion there.