In a recent Playboy interview, comedian and character actor David Cross revealed that not only has he smoked crack--if only once because it sounds like he was immediately addicted--but that he snorted cocaine inside the White House. Sure, it was a granual--so he says--but it was not that far from the POTUS himself. Cross's explanation:

Maybe 40 feet is a bit close. It was probably more like 65 feet. And it wasn't even that much cocaine. It was literally the size of, I don't know, a tick. It was a tiny granule of coke that I put on my wrist and said, Watch this. I need a witness. And then I ducked under the table and did it. It wasn't like I got high. The jolt was similar to licking an empty espresso cup. It wasn't about that. It was just about being able to say that I did it, that I did cocaine in the same room as the president. I'm not proud of it, nor am I ashamed of it. My one regret is that I got my girlfriend [actress Amber Tamblyn] in trouble by association. I was her date, her plus-one, and she got dragged through the mud because of what I did. She had nothing to do with it. She didn't know I was going to do it. And because of that she'll never be invited to the White House again. That's not cool.

Man, that's pretty gutsy, no? To be fair, in an earlier interview question, the 47-year old did say he was over recreational drug use by quite a margin. But after all, it's not as if Cross, who's been doing stand-up, sketch, and serious acting for years now, is a stranger to substance abuse, either in his life or in his work. To celebrate Cross's outspoken behavior, we've gathered five of the best Cross bits about being messed up:

Neosporin Anybody?

The Altered State of Drugachussettes

Mr. Show's Bugged Drugs

Todd Margaret's Caffeine Freakout

The Bluth's Best Party/Intervention