Eric Dondero Would Approve: A Post-Election iTunes Playlist For Cranky Conservatives

on November 09 2012 11:58 AM
Alice Cooper
Glam rocker Alice Cooper. Reuters

With four more years of President Obama ahead of them, many staunch right-wingers are predictably claiming to be fed up with America’s ever pervasive “liberal agenda.”

But some conservatives in search of a little post-election escapism are finding that they have nowhere to turn. From the mainstream media to Hollywood, American pop culture seems eternally swaddled in a particular shade of blue. The G.O.P. may be the party of Lincoln, but “Lincoln” was directed by a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat.

So what’s an angry conservative to do? On Wednesday, the Libertarian blogger Eric Dondero, a former aid to Ron Paul, came up with a solution: He is boycotting all things Democrat. No more liberal friends. No more liberal media. No more liberal entertainment.

But in an interview with New York magazine, the self-proclaimed champion of individual freedom lamented that he had a difficult time finding good music that -- go figure -- wasn’t written by a liberal. So IBTimes took the liberty (pun intended) of culling some of the best tunes written by conservative rockers.

Republicans, if this doesn’t get you through the next four years, there’s always Canada. Celine Dion has something for everyone. 

[Disclaimer: this is a Ted Nugent-free list. Let’s broaden our horizons, shall we?]

1. ‘Beat On the Brat,’ the Ramones

Ramones front man Joey Ramone was as flighty and liberal as they come, but guitarist Johnny was the heart of the band -- and a hardcore, NRA-supporting, Bush-loving Republican until his death. (Feel free to picture your Democrat of choice as the song’s titular brat.)

2. ‘God Only Knows,’ the Beach Boys

The song so masterfully utilized during the closing montage of Paul Thomas Anderson’s “Boogie Nights” is 100 percent G.O.P-approved. Beach Boys singer Bruce Johnston reportedly called the president an “a--hole” earlier this year, saying Americans will be “f--cked” if Obama wins reelection. Good vibrations, indeed.      

3. ‘Welcome to My Nightmare,’ Alice Cooper

The title says it all. Cooper, the iconic glam rocker of the 1970s, is reportedly a Republican and a born-again Christian. To top it off, he wears almost as much makeup as Michele Bachmann.   

4. ‘Tossed Salads And Scrambled Eggs,’ Kelsey Grammer

When all else fails, why not listen to the theme from “Frasier”? While Seattle’s Dr. Frasier Crane was a standard-model lefty intellectual, the actor who played him for 20 years is an avowed conservative.

5. ‘Let’s Go Crazy,’ Prince

In a Guardian interview, the surprisingly conservative singer Prince seemed to praise Islamic oppression. He has also been accused of being anti-gay marriage, although he’s denied that charge. Still, if “Let’s Go Crazy” doesn’t sum up the G.O.P.’s increasingly fringy stance on social issues, what does?

Final note: Hank Williams Jr. repeatedly referred to President Obama as a “Muslim president” during the campaign season. However, in light of the complete absence of good Hank Williams Jr. songs, the singer failed to make the playlist.

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