'Extremely Loud' Interview with DRUNK HULK (Who Thinks Tom Hanks is Mad at Him)

 @EllenKilloran on January 24 2012 2:21 PM

width=502

DRUNK HULK took some time out of his busy tweeting schedule to talk to IBTimes about life as a social media celebrity, the upcoming Super Bowl (of nachos), and the nine movies nominated for 2012 Best Picture Oscars. 

@DRUNKHULK has smashed his way to Twitter stardom since first screaming onto the scene in all caps in 2009. He has over 130,000 followers and counting, and made Buzzfeed and Time magazine's Best Twitter Feed lists in 2011.

(Stay tuned for a second interview with Christain Dumais, DRUNK HULK's creator, later this week.)

IBTimes: Is DRUNK HULK drunk right now?

DH: WOULD YOU ASK CARE BEAR IF IT STILL CARE? WOULD YOU ASK MITT ROMNEY IF HE CAN CATCH BALL? 

Your commentary covers everything from politics to reality TV to British royalty. Where do you get most of your news?

ALL NEWS FROM INTERNET! THIS WAY DRUNK HULK KNOW IT ALL TRUE!

Are there any topics that are off-limits?

TOO SOON! ELLEN! TOO SOON! 

You have well over 100,000 followers, with celebrities like Anthony Bourdain and Patton Oswalt among them. Yet, you follow no one. Is that your official policy?

THAT ACTUAL NO TRUE! DRUNK HULK FOLLOW ONE PERSON! SOME SAY HE MOST WONDERFUL MAN IN WHOLE WORLD!

[Ed. note: Mea culpa. DRUNK HULK does indeed follow one person on Twitter -- @PuffChrissy.]

WAIT MINUTE! DRUNK HULK GOT OVER 100,000 FOLLOWER? THAT CRAZY! THAT MORE PEOPLE THAN POPULATION OF SEYCHELLES! DUGGAR FAMILY! AND NEWT GINGRICH WIFES! IF DRUNK HULK REALIZE THAT MANY PEOPLE ARE FOLLOWING! DRUNK HULK WOULD HAVE PUT PANT ON!

Do you have any Oscar predictions?

LET GO THROUGH LIST! TOGETHER! LIKE FAMILY! 

THE ARTIST! DRUNK HULK ONLY SEE BEGINNING BEFORE WALK OUT! SOMETHING WRONG WITH SOUND AT CINEMA!

THE DESCENDANTS! DRUNK HULK NO SEE THIS! BUT DRUNK HULK SURPRISE THOMAS MAGNUM NO KEEP MOUSTACHE!

HUGO! MARTIN SCORSESE MAKE KID MOVIE! THAT WEIRD! LIKE TOM HANKS MAKING BAD MOVIE! OH WAIT...

EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE! BETWEEN THIS AND LARRY CROWNE! CAN NO HELP BUT FEEL TOM HANKS MAD AT SOMETHING DRUNK HULK DO!

THE HELP! WORST REMAKE EVER MADE! DRUNK HULK BET BEATLES ROLLING IN THEY GRAVE! OR CRAFTMATIC ADJUSTABLE BED!  

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS! THIS ABOUT ARTIST STUCK IN PAST WHO NO CHANGE HIS WAY! DRUNK HULK NO KNOW WHY WOODY ALLEN INTEREST IN MAKING THIS MOVIE!

MONEYBALL! FINALLY THEY FINISH BALL TRILOGY! MONEYBALL WAS WAY BETTER THAN THUNDERBALL! BUT IT WAS NO MEATBALLS!

THE TREE OF LIFE! YOU KNOW THAT FEELING YOU GET WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE NOMINATE FOR BEST PICTURE? LIKE LIFE MAKE NO SENSE? IF NOT! WATCH THIS MOVIE!

WAR HORSE! GARY BUSEY KNOCK THIS ONE OUT OF PARK AS TITLE CHARACTER!

On your therapist's suggestion, you created a list of New Year's resolutions. Some of your resolutions could be interpreted as suggestions for other people - accepting same sex marriage, or no longer wearing leggings instead of pants in public. Is DRUNK HULK trying to set an example for society?

DRUNK HULK WANT BE GOOD EXAMPLE! BUT DRUNK HULK NEVER ASSUME TO TELL OTHER PEOPLES WHAT DO! THAT SAID! PRESIDENTIAL RACE PROVE ONCE AND FOR ALL! THAT YOU CAN DO FAR WORSE THAN DRUNK HULK!

What does the Super Bowl mean to you?

UNLESS YOU TALKING ABOUT SUPER BOWL OF NACHO! DRUNK HULK HAVE NO IDEA! 

If you could play for the Patriots or the Giants, which team would you choose?

DRUNK HULK TAKE ROCK HUDSON MOVIE OVER MEL GIBSON MOVIE ANY DAY! BUT NO UNDERSTAND WHY EITHER MOVIE NEED TEAM!

Some of your tweets suggest DRUNK HULK hasn't been very lucky in love. Can you describe your ideal woman?

NO WANT WOMAN WHO DRIVE DRUNK HULK TO DRINK! UNLESS SHE WILLING TO DRIVE DRUNK HULK BACK HOME AFTER! THAT SAID! FOR IDEA WHAT DRUNK HULK APPRECIATE IN WOMAN! LOOK AT DRUNK HULK MOST SEXIEST PEOPLES OF 2011!*

I noticed that my personal favorite @DRUNKHULK tweet -- BET LIONEL RICHIE LOSE RENT DEPOSIT WHEN LANDLORD SEE THOSE FOOTPRINT ON CEILING! -- did not make it to your Top Ten Most Popular Tweets of 2011.  Were you surprised at all by the tweets that made it on the list?

DRUNK HULK SURPRISE THAT FIRST THEY WANT EVIDENCE OF BIRTH! NOW EVIDENCE OF DEATH! IT LIKE INTERNET JUST LEARN ABOUT EXISTENTIALISM! MAKE LIST! HONESTLY! DRUNK HULK SURPRISE ANY TWEET BECOME POPULAR! BUT DRUNK HULK THANKFUL!

What's next for DRUNK HULK? Can we expect to see a Sh-t @DRUNKHULK Says series anytime soon?

DRUNK HULK NO THINK THERE DEMAND FOR THAT KIND OF THING! BOOK BE NICE THOUGH!

Thanks for your time, DRUNK HULK!!!!

NO! THANK! YOU!

*All hyperlinks, with the exception of this one, were added by IBTimes.

Join the Discussion