10. “I can’t think of a better publicity stunt for my next lousy movie.”

9. “I wonder if I left the kitchen faucet running in my luxurious villa in Lago di Como? Or was that my oceanfront mansion in Malibu?”

8. “I hope I have enough ink in my pen to sign autographs for all the cops who will be clamoring for me.”

7. “Hell no, I’m not taking any damn pay cut – I get $20-mil a picture and that’s that!”

6, “What? You mean there really are places called ‘Nuba’ and ‘Kordofan’? They sound like made-up names!”

5 “Look, I’ll take Sudan, Brad Pitt’s got Haiti and that loony Sean Penn’s got Venezuela.”

4. “I sure hope this crazy stunt doesn’t hurt my box office appeal in the huge and growing Chinese market.”

3. “I’m no phony! I really care about the people of Darufi or Darfooey or whatever the hell it’s called!”

2. “No one ever call me a talentless, shallow, self-indulgent, idiotic Hollywood hack ever again!”

1. “What are we protesting again? Sudan or some crazy damn place like that?”