For anybody who doesn’t think that Germans are a resourceful people, look no further than the recent story of a 49-year-old man who found a way to dent a car with a giant sausage.
The man wielded the meat Saturday in retaliation for another German parking his car in a way he felt was a bit too careless. With his son nearby, the man smacked the BMW with a nearly foot-long sausage, denting the vehicle. Police in Neubrandenburg, Mecklenburg-Western Pomorania were investigating the dent with suspicion that a metal clip at the end of the jumbo frank had caused the damage.
The swinging sausage came after the man engaged in shouting match with a 47-year-old who had parked his car in front of them. At one point, the police report suggests, the two men were grabbing one another. The 49-year-old northeastern German man was apparently worried about the safety of his child.
As it turns out, the sausage attacker may have had inspiration from elsewhere (or, at least, this isn’t the first time that Germans have gotten a bit upset with sausage around this year). In April, two investors at a Mercedes Benz shareholder event lost their cool over some free wurst in what has been described as a “furious quarrel.” Those sausages were free. It was at least bad enough that police were needed to show up and calm things down.
But Germans can’t take all the credit for the brilliant idea of using a sausage to assault someone else. Four years ago, a cyclist in central Massachusetts was pelted with sausage links as he tried to get his morning exercise in. A man came up behind him and started throwing the links. The attacker apparently realized that sausage isn’t always the most effective weapon, however, and eventually switched from meat to metal, throwing wrenches at his victim.