A mostly fictional, but typical, conversation between a frustrated Internet customer and his service provider:

Customer: Hello Time Warner?

Time Warner: Yes. What is your address and name sir?

Customer: Finster Beckinwald.

Time Warner: Thank you. How can I help you?

Customer: I have no Internet service.

Time Warner: We can send a person out in two weeks.

Customer: Two weeks! What am I supposed to do until then.

Time Warner: We're sorry sir perhaps if you call tomorrow someone will have canceled.

Customer: But I need the Internet for work. I work from home when I'm not at work. It's the Internet life. It's 24/7.

Time Warner: Yes-sir i understand, but I am sorry there is nothing I can do.

Customer: How can you say that? What choice have I got but to use you? You have a monopoly here, although Fios made some approach to my landlord.

Time Warner: Verizon?

Customer: Yes, In fact I am going to call them now.

Customer: Hello Verizon?

Verizon: Yes-sir, how can we help you today?

Customer: I would like to order Fios for my home?

Verizon: I'm afraid you are not in our area today, but we will be there in a week.

Customer: And where are you working now?

Verizon: Well we are working now installing service in Rockland County.

Customer: Where?

Verizon: Rockland County

Customer: But that's were a townhouse just blew up! I heard it was a Verizon installer who caused the accident. And two firefighters were burned!

Verizon: Yes-sir, that's when a Verizon installer drilled through a gas line. Fortunately, no one was killed.

Customer: And a house was leveled!

Verizon: Yes-sir. We will be in your neighborhood in a week. Would you like to make an appointment for someone to come to your house to install Fios service? We can set up an appointment now if you would like?

Customer: Well, thank God no one was killed!

Verizon: Yes-sir. Would you care to make an appointment for the week when we are in your area?

Customer: Ah, let me get back to you, okay?

Verizon: Thank you for calling sir.

Customer: Hello Time Warner?