A “Married at First Sight” couple made history in Season 4, episode 8. Heather Seidel determined that she couldn’t complete six weeks on the FYI reality show. She decided that she wanted a divorce after she and husband Derek Schwartz returned from their honeymoon. So what went wrong for this couple? Let’s take a look back.
The Wedding Day — Derek and Heather seemed to get along after meeting at the altar. Affection made Heather a little uncomfortable, though. When the wedding photographer asked them to kiss, Derek was happy to oblige, but Heather started to get annoyed. However, she later assured Derek that her reaction wasn’t about him. The situation felt too forced for the first day of their relationship, and Derek seemed fine with Heather’s explanation.
Smoking — The honeymoon in Puerto Rico was when the trouble really started for the couple. Heather told the experts she was okay with an “occasional” smoker. For Derek, that meant smoking once a week, but on vacation, he smoked even more. Heather let this issue slide for a couple days, but ultimately, the habit led to their first blowout fight.
Heather confronted Derek about smoking every day of the trip as soon as he woke up. Derek got defensive immediately and said her drinking is worse. The fight got heated quickly, and they went their separate ways to cool off for a while. They reunited at the hotel, but they didn’t make up. The fight took a turn for the worst.
Derek claimed his marriage was important to him, but Heather didn’t even think they could get to know each other when he started each day with “an altered state of mind.” She wanted to learn more about him when he hadn’t been smoking, but Derek just called her an alcoholic and told her she wasn’t as perfect as she thought.
On Day 5 of their marriage, the husband seemingly predicted their future during the fight. “Whether it’s with me or whoever it’s gonna be when we get divorced, I hope that you are willing to find some sort of compromise, and you’re willing to understand that nobody is perfect out there,” he said.
The next day, the two moved on from their fight without really discussing it. They both seemed to want to put it behind them, even though nothing was really resolved.
Flirting Accusations — They tried to do some fun activities on their honeymoon, which included a surfing lesson. Heather actually managed to enjoy herself, but it was Derek who was unhappy this time. The surfing instructor grabbed Heather’s hand while they were in the water. Derek noted that the teacher never grabbed his hand. He also wasn’t happy that Heather flicked a bug off the instructor’s chest.
Derek tried to ignore it, and they moved on to their next activity. They explored a cave and they had a nice conversation. Derek was thrilled they were bonding, but he became upset when Heather decided that they should leave the cave. They’d explored and other people were waiting for them to finish. Derek felt like Heather was being more considerate of strangers than her husband.
Heather felt like Derek was overreacting. She compared this fight to “talking to an emotional teenage girl.” They ended Day 6 by going back to the hotel in separate cars and not speaking for the rest of the night.
Asking For Help — On Day 7, the two finally realized they need an expert and they called Pastor Cal Roberson. He told them that Heather had to let down her walls, but that they also both needed to confront their conflicts. Heather hinted that she was losing hope, though. “I’m not the girl I was on Day 1 with hearts in my eyes and hope in my heart,” she revealed.
The Break — On Day 8, the couple headed back to Miami. While other couples worried about moving in together, Heather realized she needed a break. Cal asked if she wanted a divorce, but Heather didn’t know the answer to that question. Heather tried to explain why she was unhappy, and Derek just got angry. “You should leave,” Derek said. “Do us both a favor.”
When Heather talked to Pastor Cal alone, she explained how exhausted she was after the honeymoon. “I feel like I was not with a grown man, the way that he was fighting with me,” Heather said. “And I was at a loss.”
Pastor Cal didn’t think it was fair that Heather was asking for time alone, but he agreed to give her a couple of days to make a firm decision on whether she wanted to see this experiment through. There were still five weeks to go before “Married at First Sight” finished filming.
The Decision — On Day 10, Heather sat down with Derek and Pastor Cal. Derek tried to get in touch with his wife during their hiatus, but she didn’t really want to talk to him while she was making her decision.
Ultimately, she decided that she was ready for a divorce. “I’m really sorry about how things have gone,” Heather said. “I don’t think you’re a bad person at all, and I’m sorry that I can’t move forward with you. I cannot be married to you and I hope that you understand that.”
They were both embarrassed by their short marriage, but Heather knew Derek wasn’t the one. Her husband didn’t feel like she put in the effort necessary. While the marriage did not work, they both said that they still believe they’ll find love one day.
Though Derek and Heather didn’t make it, there are still two other couples trying to find love on “Married at First Sight.” Season 4 airs Tuesdays at 8:45 p.m. EDT on FYI.