New York Giants' kicker Josh Brown reportedly admitted to physically and mentally abusing his wife, according to his journal entries. These documents — a part of 165 pages of documents released by the Kings County Sheriff — have not been released publicly but were obtained by some media outlets.

Brown was arrested in May 2015 on a fourth-degree domestic violence charge, which was dropped five days later. His then-wife Molly accused him of more than 20 separate instances of domestic violence.

“I have physically, mentally, emotionally and verbally been a repulsive man,” Brown reportedly wrote in one of his journal entries. “I have abused my wife.”

In a March 2014 letter to his friend that was released, Brown admitted: “I have been a liar for most of my life. I made selfish decisions to use and abuse women starting at the age of 7 to fill this void. I objectified women and never really worried about the pain and hurt I caused them. My ability to connect emotionally to other people was zero. My empathy levels were zero.”

“I viewed myself as God basically and she was my slave,” the NFL player said, referring to his wife.

Brown was re-signed for a two-year, $4 million deal this offseason as the team was “comfortable” retaining him, said Giants president and CEO John Mara. He was, however, made to sit out of the team’s season opener as punishment for violating the personal conduct policy.

“When we made the decision to re-sign Josh back in (2016), we were certainly aware of the arrest,” NFL.com quoted Mara as saying. “We were also aware of the allegations associated with that arrest and the fact that the charges were dropped within a couple of days after the arrest. Based on the facts and circumstances that we were aware of at that time, we were comfortable with our decision to re-sign him.”

The Giants leave for London on Thursday to play the Los Angeles Rams. Brown’s team declined to comment on the latest release of documents, according to NFL.com.