In the last few hours before the real transfer window begins, we will have to endure the phoney transfer rumours which are perpetrated by lazy journalists, especially in the UK, where they have a propensity to make up stories out of nothing.
First up is the old chestnut and hacks standby story, Wayne Rooney. Despite that fact that my Old Trafford sources have assured me that there is no possible chance of Rooney leaving United this season, the media will have their moment of fantasy. It is annoying for fans around the world who do not have my contacts, and thereby, my inside knowledge that these rumours of Rooney leaving are utter fiction. Talk of clubs preparing bids for the player is even more far-fetched. It is simply not worth discussing any further, so I will move onto the next piece of joke journalism.