As most of you know, Disney purchased Lucas Films this week for a modest 4.05 billion dollars. They plan on releasing three more Star Wars Episodes beginning in 2015. Luckily for you, I got a sneak preview of a spin off series they are picking up. Episodes I & II have already taken place. Episode III is in the works and is set to be released this weekend. Short notice, I know, but here is the opening crawl for Episode III Attack of the Clone Defenses.
A long time ago (last year actually) in a galaxy not so far far away (the Deep South) two rival factions collided twice over the span of just a few months. In enemy territory, the Tigers Empire won the first battle against their hated rival, the Tide Empire. After defeat, Tide spies (coaches) managed to formulate plans to revenge the Tiger Empire’s victory. In January, the BCS Separatist Council constructed another encounter between these two relentless Empires to settle the controversy over which Empire would rule the CFB Universe. Only this time it would be in a neutral universe far away from either Empire's Republic (well, actually it was in New Orleans just down the road from LSU's campus). And the ultimate crown would be at stake, the National Championship Crystal Ball. The Tide Empire embarrassed the Tiger Empire to the tune of 21-0. It appeared as if the Tide Empire put an impenetrable army of droids at the fifty yard line and refused to allow the Tiger Empire's Offense into Tide territory. With crystal ball in hand, the Tide Empire returned to Tuscaloosa Galaxy, the battle having seemingly concluded the discussion as to which Empire was ruler over the CFB Universe. The Tiger Empire, however, would not go quietly.
Jump ahead to November 3, 2012. The BCS Separatist Council has positioned the two rival Empires so that the looming battle will more than likely, once again, determine who gets the right to challenge readying Empires for dominance over the CFB Universe. This time, however, the battle will take place in the galaxy of the Tiger Empire, DEATH VALLEY, an armored space station-like arena with enough power to destroy an entire Empire. It will be at 7:00 pm and the Tiger Clones will be oiled up and prepared for battle, creating a hostile environment for an enemy attack. The Tiger Empire's Offense is led by a young Jedi, Zack Mettenberger. Jedi Mettenberger still has much to learn as he goes through his first year in the dominant Celestial Sphere of the SEC. He will be pursued by the Tide Empire's dominating line of defense. Under tuteledge of Jedi Master, Obi-Wan Saban, the Tide Empire Defense has been consistently the greatest force in the CFB Universe for the entire season. It will be tough for Jedi Mettenberger to create a consistent attack and lead his Empire to victory. His counterpart, Jedi AJ McCarron, however, has quietly elevated his status into the upper stratosphere of Jedi knights. He is making a claim at the top honor given to a deserving CFB Jedi every year, the Heisman Trophy. He has been flawless in his leadership and execution of the weekly battle plans. Look for the daunting Tiger Empire Defense to make it difficult on Jedi McCarron with multiple battle formations and an arsenal of blitz attacks. Ultimately it will come down to the maturation of Jedi Mettenberger and whether or not he can keep his Tiger Droids in the battle by not making too many mistakes. It may come down to a big play on special teams, but the battle will most likely be decided by which Empire's Defense maintains a level of dominance from beginning to end.
Episode III Attack of the Clone Defenses. Coming to a cable network near you. ESPN, Saturday November 12. 7pm. Don't miss it.796255