As the dust settles from the anti-climatic last day of January, we all feel it: deflation. Not just because we have had to put up with Jim White for 3 hours the night before, but because we have sunk into a deep sense of realization and reflection.
Let’s be honest here, has anyone ever watched Sky Sports News for upwards of 10 hours in one day other than on the 31st of January and August? If you say yes then you’re either a liar or someone that needs to taken outside. It’s not something you do but we feel a compulsion to do it twice a year. Not only this, we will watch a live stream of transfer news on a national newspaper website and finally we will keep an eye on Twitter. Absolutely bonkers. However, there is no subtracting from the enjoyment of the whole occasion.
Ever since it’s transfer (see what I did there?) to an 11pm closure, the deadline day has been slightly less electrifying in the concluding stages. When it was a midnight finish, you felt a childish naughtiness staying glued to the screen that had been on for what seemed an eternity: not so much anymore.
There’s always that feeling of ‘I’ll turn it off as soon as it SLAMS shut’ – but you never do. You must just wait that extra half and hour just to make sure Sky Sports haven’t missed anything. Then, to guide you through this semi-eye closed viewing, Sky have introduced a frighteningly luminous studio and outfit combo. This can be for no other reason than to keep the viewer awake.
Tie-gate was a hot topic on Twitter pre-White’s appearance. Would he opt for the same garish yellow that he did 5 months prior? Of course he would! The man loves a theme and the walking banana that was Natalie Sawyer complimented him beautifully.
One word: ‘SkyPad’. Someone explain, please! To me, it looks like an over-exuberant touch screen that Gary Neville forgot to take home the Monday beforehand. Not only that but it just shows the same old thing time after time accompanied by a presenter who can’t pronounce foreign names properly. Only in England or seulement en angleterre as David Beckham might say. (Google Translate may or may not have been used in the production of this paragraph)
National Fernando Torres day was first celebrated on the 31st of January 2011 as Liverpool offloaded the Spaniard for £50m to Chelsea, something that sparked deadline day frenzy. Everything since has had to live up to these dealing and perhaps nothing yet has. As an Englishman, I like suspense and organized panic; something Sky Sports honed so well on that fateful day. Who were they going to buy, who were they going to sell? It set the precedent for every transfer deadline day to fail next to from then on.
Anyone who supports anyone is always disappointed with his or her teams dealings in the closing twenty-four hours yet we always look forward to the next one. We watch Arsenal always scrape a last minute signing, year on year but are still surprised. We see one team go mad with small transfers yet we are still surprised and we see Kieron Dyer make a move to yet another club. It’s just part of the tomfoolery.
As you reflect on what happened the night before and the preceding 30 days, you do so with a glum look smeared across your sleep-deprived face. It’s never what you wanted. It’s never as good as it was last year and another club has always done better than yours. This isn’t depression; this isn’t the stark realization that football is overly capitalized. Instead, it’s the medically recognised post-deadline day blues.
The only cure: watch more football.
(This is not a real medical disorder and the cure has not been passed by a qualified doctor; just me.)