The Colbert Nation Super PAC Presidential Primary -- can you picture it in big, bold neon letters?
The Comedy Central funnyman is continuing his fight to sponsor the South Carolina GOP presidential primary, offering half a million dollars to cover the counties' shortfall in a guest editorial in The State.
State officials have been fighting over who should fund the primary, which is the first of the season in the South. Colbert, a Charleston native, has offered to help out through his Colbert Super PAC.
He formed the PAC earlier this year to satirize the country's campaign finance system, which became even more divisive after the Supreme Court's ruling in the Citizens United case.
Colbert -- who, in 2007, attempted to run for president, but only in South Carolina -- previously offered the South Carolina GOP the money it needed if it would name the contest after him. The GOP denied Colbert's olive branch but assented to putting the naming rights on the ballot as a referendum if Colbert promised to contribute.
The South Carolina Supreme Court rained on that parade by eliminating all referendum questions from the ballot.
Now Colbert is asking for one more chance.
As a proud son of South Carolina I must address recent unsubstantiated rumors published in The State that I, Stephen Colbert, tried to buy the naming rights to the 2012 Republican primary, he wrote. First, never trust anything in a newspaper -- except this column, and possibly 'Mallard Filmore.' And second, these outrageous and scurrilous rumors border on libel, even if they are, technically, true. I don't want to talk about it.
He demands just two things: that you support the Democrats' petition to get my referendum back on the ballot, and that you grant me the pre-negotiated naming rights, which, I think we can all agree, you now own. To paraphrase Ronald Reagan, 'You paid for that microphone!'