After more than a year away, the storage locker hunter everyone loves to hate, Dave Hester, returned to A&E’s hit reality series “Storage Wars” Tuesday night. Just like to his scandalous and abrupt exit from the program in 2012, the mogul’s return to the series was not drama-free.
For those who didn’t catch the "Storage Wars" back-to-back episodes "The Man in Black Is Back ... In Black" and "The Return of the Mogul's Return!" or for those who simply want to relive the drama, here is a recap of the top five OMG moments from Hester's return to cable:
Dave Hester’s shocking return (appropriately accompanied by Darth Vader’s “Star Wars” theme) was not a warm and fuzzy affair. “I’m back, bi----s!” said Hester, an announcement that elicited nothing but obvious contempt from his co-stars, Jarrod Schulz, Brandi Passante, Darrell Sheets and auctioneer Laura Dotson.
“Any lowlife will do, huh?” said Schulz. “I just got, like, throw up in my mouth,” said Dotson of the mogul’s presence.
“I heard he tried to start his own auction company. Must not have worked out too well if he’s crawling back here,” said Passante. “Honestly, I heard Dave was living in his van,” said Schulz of Hester’s long absence. “I don’t know where Dave’s been, probably doughnut rehab, but I’d wish he’d go back,” quipped Sheets.
Dave attacks Laura
Hester’s decision to wear a shirt advertising his own auction company at Dotson’s event resulted in a blowout fight mere minutes into his return on the program.“This guy has run all over town calling himself an auctioneer, trying to steal my business, and now he shows up at my auction? I don’t think so!” said Dotson of Hester’s attire. “Please help me to hold my tongue and not lash out at that beast!”
Despite her best efforts to remain cordial with the series' longtime villain, Dotson reverted to having a verbal battle with Hester after the mogul told her to “shut up,” “see a psychiatrist” and “send a man” (her husband, Don Dotson) to represent her at future auctions.
“This is America. I can say whatever I want,” said Hester, who has ultimately booted from the event. “I’m not afraid of you,” said Dotson. “I have a backbone. I have bravado. You’re gone!”
Darrell vs. Dave
Following his abrupt exit from Dotson' first auction, Sheets wasn’t shy about voicing his upset over Hester's return to the auction featured on "Storage Wars" second episode Tuesday. “[He] sounds like a chipmunk with a mouth full of nuts,” Sheets said of Hester's voice, later comparing his signature “Yuuup!” call to a “pregnant cow in heat.”
The duo’s war continued after Hester tried to outbid Sheets for an $800 locker. “That’s all you got?” said Sheets after securing the win. “You have gotten weak, Dave!” Hester's response: “If weak is making Darrell overpay for a locker, then fine, I’m weak.”
Brandi and Jarrod troll Dave
After seasons of Hester’s purposefully upping the price on his co-star’s desire storage lockers, Passante and Schulz gave the mogul a taste of his own medicine Tuesday night. After agreeing not to purchase a unit filled to the brim with used auto parts, the couple decided to place a bid after discovering Hester’s interest in its contents.
“I don’t want anything to do with this locker, but screwing over Dave, that sounds real good right now,” said Passante. “Remember, Dave, when you used to drop it on us? Remember that?” Passante said after she and Schulz successfully raised the locker’s bid to $450.
Their plans, however, may have been in vain. “Jarrod and Brandi thought they bid me up on that locker. How cute,” said Hester.
Dave comes out on top
Despite Passante and Schulz’s best efforts, Hester’s storage locker find was a big winner. After discovering a vintage Hazeltine 1000 computer hidden within his unit, Hester took the item in for an appraisal, only to discover the machine was valued at $1,000 due to its 24k gold parts and mint working condition. “A thousand bucks! It’s just too easy,” Hester said of his success.
“Storage Wars” airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. EDT on A&E.