Is the monitor too bright? Is that voice in your head reading you this sentence too loud? If you’ve found yourself on this page, you, like many others, are probably in bed with a frozen bag of peas to your forehead and a sour feeling in your stomach. You must have caught it: a case of the Super Bowl Monday hangovers.
Right now, you’re undoubtedly feeling a little lousy. All the festivities of Sunday -- the free-flowing libations, the barbecue sauce-soaked food, the cheering and the high-fiving -- seem light years away. Now you’re left with what feels like a small construction worker with a jackhammer inside your skull breaking up the little walls in your brain, and you’ve got to be at your work station in an hour.
First of all, it’s time to get back into shape. Check out our list of the best hangover cures for beating those post-game withdrawals.
Next, formulate a plausible reason to tell your boss as to why you suddenly can’t clock in. (Not that we encourage playing hooky, but really, shouldn’t it be a crime to require employees to work the day after the biggest sporting event of the year?) Here are the best excuses for avoiding your Super Bowl Monday shift.
The foolproof flu excuse. In case you missed it in the news, we’re in the middle of flu season. How can your boss deny you the right to stay home when you’re the carrier of a communicable and potentially dangerous virus?
Use the word “fever” in your email or phone conversation. That little word is your ticket to stay-at-home freedom.
Your cable guy rescheduled and is coming today. Oh, the woes of personal wireless Internet. You never know when it’s suddenly going to stall -- and neither does your boss!
Tell her you’ve been without Internet service for a week and that the cable and Internet guy had a canceled appointment and suddenly has an open spot in his schedule. Make sure to stress that if you don’t take this appointment, your Internet provider won’t be able to send someone out for another two weeks. Your boss is only human, and is bound to have Netflix, too. She’ll understand.
You were out of town for the Super Bowl and your car broke down. Your brother who lives upstate had a Super Bowl get-together, and you traveled to watch the game with him and his kids. You spent a nice, relaxing, wholesome Sunday watching the game and drinking juice boxes with little Sally and Sammy.
When you went to leave at the end of the third quarter (you were being responsible and wanted to get home early to make sure you were rested for work), you realized the car wouldn’t start. AAA took three and a half hours to reach you, only to tell you they’d have to tow your car to a repair shop because your car had a busted fan belt (feel free to come up with your own version of the busted-car story).
You lost a huge Super Bowl bet and can’t afford to commute to work. This one’s admittedly a bit of a stretch, but it also shows that you’re an honest guy who sticks to his word.
Warning: This one has the potential to backfire. “If you need money, you should come to work and make some,” could be the response you get. Keep that in mind when going with the I-lost-a-bet excuse.
Your in-laws are in town and their flight was delayed. Your partner’s parents were visiting for Super Bowl weekend and were supposed to fly out early Monday morning but alas, their flight was postponed! And it was your task to drive them to the airport!
Now they’re waiting for a text message from the airline telling them when their new flight will take off, and you can’t leave until you’re able to deposit them at the terminal. How considerate of you! The in-law excuse will certainly tug at a few heartstrings.
Philip Ross joined IBTimes in March 2013. He holds an M.A. in Journalism from New York University and a B.A. in International Development Studies from the University of...