*Only plays reruns of “Petticoat Junction.”
*Every iPhone is covered from top to bottom with advertisements for Samsung.
*Absolutely identical to iPhone 4 -- except fourteen months younger.
*Alternate name for the product is Blackberry-on-steroids.
*Apple already taking advance orders for iPhones 6 through 27.
*Makes for an awesome $499 paper-weight.
*Hank Williams Jr. said iPhone 5 is worse than Hitler.
*Instead of the usual ‘black turtleneck and blue jeans’ look favored by Steve Jobs, Tim Cook came out to introduce the iPhone 5 dressed like Flavor Flav.
*Apple actually based all its designs on Star Trek’s fake phaser/communicator technology from 1960s.
*Apple’s new slogan: “Android-Schmandroid.”