Warning: Spoilers ahead!
Before the opening credits can even begin, "True Blood's" season five finale, "Save Yourself," shocks viewers by getting rid of threat number one...Russell Edgington.
After draining the Elder fae, Russell has the ability to see the secret fae world, but his fairy high is short lived. Although the group blasts of light from the fae only give a "tickling sensation," Russell meets the true death by being oblivious to Eric, who quickly swoops in and stakes the ancient vampire.
The death brings an "oh f-k" reaction from lover Steve Newlin, who quickly flees before the stake can turn on him. Pleased with the death of Russell, who long ago killed his entire family, Eric still has a couple of matters to attend to -- the first being to ensure that Nora will not feed on Sookie. ("What is she?" Nora asks. "She is a waitress," Eric replies.)
Sookie and Jason, (who woke up seeing his dead parents after receiving a brutal blow) return to Sookie's house while Eric goes to his "home," Fangtasia. Hoping to see Pam, Eric learns from Tara that Pam's been taken to the Authority with Jessica.
Also currently at the Authority is Sam, who unfortunately doesn't realize that "Old Bill" is no longer with us.
"You should never have come here," Bill tells Sam. "You know too much." Before Bill can get a hands on Sam, he shifts into a fly. Like a cat, Bill jumps around trying to catch the buzzing intruder, but Sam manages to fly into an air duct to escape. Sam's breach of the Authority leads to Bill setting up a man or "shifter" hunt.
As the Authority army hunts for Sam, Salome appears and begins to questions the absence of Chancellor Kibwe Akinjide, who viewers will remember met the true death last week at the hands of Bill. Although fans witnessed Lilith call Bill "the chosen one" last week in "Sunset," this week he seems to be singing a different tune.
"She said to serve and protect you," Bill says to Salome of Lilith. "She said you were the profit for the new age."
While Bill is "serving and protecting" Salome, Sookie is having her services called upon to do some serving and protecting of her own.
After discovering that Pam and Jess are inside the Authority walls, Eric shows up to Sookie's with Nora and Tara, requesting her help in talking down Bill from his religious jump. Jason obviously has some opposition to the plan, along with his deceased parents who seem to be along for the ride now thanks to Jason's bump on the head. Despite protests from her brother, Sookie agrees to go into the Vampire Authority to help them free Pam, Jess and Bill. With the encouragement from his parents, Jason agrees to go along too (with the promise that he can kill a lot of vampires from the inside).
With all the vampire shenanigans going on, it's easy to forget that the werewolves in town are having their own problems. Although Alcide was kicked out of the pack by JD, and turned to his father for comfort, the pack needs help and Alcide will not turn his back on them.
Martha drags a drugged up Ricki, who has taken way too much V to Alcide. His former lover tells him that JD held her down and forced her to take the vampire blood. Furious with Ricki's condition and the way JD is leading the pack, Alcide decides to even the playing field by taking V himself and challenging the unfit pack master.
Meanwhile Sheriff Andy has his own problems to deal with as well. After knocking up the fairy Morella, Andy must tell Holly about the situation. In the middle of telling his girlfriend about his two-night stand with Morella and her current condition, her "light breaks," causing Holly to be the midwife for her boyfriend's mistress. With Arlene and Lafayette watching, Morella gives birth (a much different birth from humans) on Merlotte's pool table to not one...not two...not three...but four baby girls. Morella's not done with dropping those bombs on Andy though, after popping out the last kid, she quickly stands up and leaves, telling him that it's now his "sacred duty" to raise the children (and make sure that at least half survive to adulthood).
Alcide is ready to tackle his sacred duty...returning the pack to what it should be. Alcide finds JD hanging a vampire in a noose of silver as he drains his blood, forcing his pack to drink. Without wasting a second, Alcide and JD begin to fight, the playing field now even with Alcide's use of V. The other wolves stay out of the fight as Martha holds up a crossbow and Alcide's father keeps a watchful eye. A couple minutes in and some painful looking blows to the head, Alcide snaps JD's neck, and a new pack master is born.
"This stops tonight," he tells his pack of the V use. 'We respect ourselves...Tonight we choose pack."
At the Authority, an imprisoned Luna chooses family, refusing to leave her daughter Emma even though Sam warns her of security coming after them. A quick shifter plan on Sam's part allows Luna to walk off with Emma though. Luna, who is able to shift into other human figures, shifts into Reverend Steve Newlin, who has been keeping Emma in wolf form as a pet.
Before Luna as Newlin can walk off with her daughter, Chancellor Rosalyn Harris mistakes her for the real Steve Newlin, and whisks her/him off for a TV news cast. Chancellor Harris needs Newlin to do damage control after a video begins circulating of him and Edgington walking into a frat house and leaving with the 22 boys inside dead. Unfortunately for Harris, she doesn't realize that Newlin is actually Luna, and Luna shifts back into herself while live on camera. Telling the world during the newscast that the Vampire Authority is holding humans hostage and killing people, Harris quickly knocks over the camera, ready to attack her faux Newlin. Before Harris can get a hand on Luna, Sam (who is still in fly mode) swoops into her mouth, shifting inside Harris and causing her to explode, meeting the true death.
Harris isn't the only one in that room to collapse though. Soon after getting her hands back on her daughter, Luna closes her eyes -- seemingly for good.
Meanwhile, after grabbing supplies from the supernatural gun store, Eric and Nora manage to get back into the Authority by gagging the others, and claiming Sookie and Jason as lunch and Tara as a spy.
Inside Authority walls though, "True Blood" becomes "Mission Impossible." In an elevator on the way down, the gang gets decked out in weapons, and Jason rolls into the Vampire Authority firing away. Blood flies as Jason, Eric and Nora take out what appears to be the whole Authority security team on the inside. With security dead (seemingly in seconds), the next task is to free Pam and Jess from their cells. Unlocking their silvered cells, Pam and Jess' reunion with their saviors is pretty shocking. Pam and Tara end up in an extremely steamy lip lock ("Oh, okay," says Sookie while she looks on. "I knew it," Jess adds.) But the complete opposite can be said for Jess and Jason. Telling Jason that she loves him, Jason turns around and tells Jess that he could never love a vamp.
Reunited with everyone, Eric and Sookie send Jason, Jess, Pam and Tara back in the elevator to escape the Authority while they go back in to try to rescue Bill.
In the midst of the chaos within the Authority, Bill finds Salome about to drink the blood of Lilith. Trying to stop her, Salome tells him that she knew he wanted the blood for himself, "But I was chosen," she explains to him. Not wasting a second more, Salome drinks Lilith's blood...but it has been poisoned by Bill.
"You didn't even smell the silver in the blood," he tells her as he holds up the real vial of Lilith's blood. "You were too impatient in lust for greatness."
Straddling his former bedside love, Bill stakes Salome. About to drink the real blood of Lilith, Bill is interrupted by Eric and Sookie. So obsessed with Lilith and the religion, Bill believes that Eric wants to get his hands on the blood, despite Eric telling him to dump it in the fire.
"Bill this isn't you," Sookie tries talking him down. Her pleas are only met with cruel words, as Bill calls her an abomination, and reminds her of the first time they met.
"If I ever meant anything to you at all," Sookie attempts again.
"Vampires often turn on those they love the most," Bill recites to her of their first encounter.
Without another second to argue, Bill drinks all of Lilith's blood. Sookie and Eric watch in horror as blood starts to poor from Bill. He collapses into a pool of blood, and Sookie cries into Eric's arms, believing that her once lover met the true death.
Bill seems to be far from dead though. Just like the night viewers saw Lilith rise from a pool of blood, a naked and bloody Bill rises from his blood and lets out a ghastly and inhuman screech.
"Run!" Eric yells to Sookie as their eyes catch the new and frightening Bill.
What did you think of "Save Yourself," the season five finale of "True Blood?"