It's almost Valentine's Day, and everyone could use a laugh to lighten the mood. Whether your love life is a joke or you just need a reason to smile, there are dozens of one-liners and funny quotes on the internet you can read on Feb. 14.
Atlas, it's Valentine's Day.
Q: What did the valentine say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me, and we'll go places.
Q: What did the pickle say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
A: "You mean a great dill to me, sweetheart."
Joke’s on all you lovebirds out there - why, the money I’ve saved on Valentine’s Day gifts in my life has bought me *several* video games
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) February 9, 2016
Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A: Hogs and kisses.
"Today is Valentine's Day, or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!" — Jay Leno
Q: What did the bat say to her boyfriend on Valentine's Day?
A: "I love just hanging around with you."
Q: What gifts do squirrels exchange on Valentine's Day?
Q: How do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A: They get very scent-imental.
Q: Why is Valentine's Day a good holiday?
A: Because you get to party heart-y.
vday joke #3:
what did one magnet say to the other magnet on Valentine's Day?
"I'm attracted to you"
— isa sanabria (@isasanabria8) February 4, 2016
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
"I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid, everyone gets a valentine. It's like, 'To Tim: Nice pants! Love, Scott.'" — Mike Birbiglia
Oscar if she likes me, please.
Q: What did one light bulb say to the other on Valentine's Day?
A: I love you watts.
Q: What does a vampire do on Valentine's Day?
A: Hangs out with his ghoul-friend.
Frank you for giving me this valentine.