5 Cars Julian Assange Could Use to Ditch Ecuador's UK Embassy, If They Were Real

By Benjamin Reeves | August 16 2012 10:40 AM

Photo: Superherohype

1) The Batmobile from the “The Dark Knight”

If Batman can use the Batmobile to drive across rooftops and jump over chasms, Assange could probably do the same and use the Batmobile to whisk him to the airport under cover of shadow. To make it work, though, Assange would have to wear a mask a cape. Worst case scenario, the coppers spot him leaving the embassy in the newly christened Assange-mobile, and he still gets away, just after an awesome car chase. In the event of a chase, the London PD would probably misidentify the Assange-mobile as a tank.

Photo: http://www.007.info/FactfileDA

3) James Bond’s invisible Aston Martin Vanquish from “Die Another Day”

Although “Die Another Day” was probably the worst James Bond movie of the Pierce Brosnan era, it did bring to life a truly ridiculous invisible (active camouflage) Aston Martin Vanquish. In Assange’s case, all the embassy would have to do is pull the car up as close to the door as possible, and then chuck him into the backseat. Once he and the car disappeared they could take any winding London road they chose to the airport, assuming a speeding Taxi, unable to see them, didn’t hit them.

Photo: imcdb

4) Agent J’s 1987 Ford LTD Crown Victoria from the first “Men in Black”

As anyone who was alive in the ‘90s will recall, Agent J’s 1987 Ford Crown Vic came with a red button that you should not touch unless you want to go rocketing down the tunnel to New Jersey. Assange wouldn’t really be in a position to rocket to New Jersey if he had the alien-fighters’ Crown Vic in London, but he could probably use it to hose the London PD’s Vauxhall Astras and Vectras on the way down the highway to Heathrow.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

5) The Bluesmobile from “The Blues Brother”

The Bluesmobile, a 1974 Dodge Monaco and former Mount Prospect, Ill. police cruiser makes the perfect getaway vehicle. It’s got cob wheels, cop suspension, cop lights and cop everything else. The only problem is the cigarette lighter doesn’t work, but it wouldn’t matter for Assange. Assange would be guaranteed to make it to the airport in the Bluesmobile so long as he worse his sunglasses. Hundreds of police cars, Winnebago’s and a pinto have been destroyed in futile pursuit of the Bluesmobile.

Now that Julian Assange is holed up inside the Ecuadorian embassy like he's a Bond villain trying to hide in his "secret-lair" deep in the bowels of an Icelandic volcano, he must be trying to come up with his next scheme to escape the British authorities. The U.K. wants to extradite him to Sweden on account of alleged sex-crimes. Assange, the shadowy founder of Wikileaks, has insisted that the U.S. has pressured Britain to extradite him to Sweden as a way of getting back at him for leaking diplomatic cables, a plot worthy of any action movie villain.

While Assange is safe for now in the Ecuadorian embassy where he is seeking asylum, he's stuck there with no way out of the country. There is a car waiting outside of the building, presumably for when Assange wants to do a runner, but it seems likely that the authorities would stop the car to arrest him on the way to the airport. If this were an action movie, though, Assange would have a few choices of car which might make his escape a bit easier.

Here are five fictional cars Julian Assange could use to make his getaway if they were real.