Donald Trump
Trump has backed out of moderating the upcoming GOP debate, but only to avoid a "conflict of interest" if he runs as an independent candidate, according to his statement. Reuters

Manhattan mogul The Donald has put the kabosh on his much-touted Republican presidential debate--after all the other candidates save Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum declined the invite. The Newsmax-sponsored affair would have been an intesting convergence of reality and reality-show, a watershed moment for American culture.

Alas, though, it is not to be. There will be no dreamed-of moment when The Donald turns his perfect coiffure to the assembled and with his finger of fate points to one and says, You're fired!

But The Donald is ever resourceful; his non-event has doubtless boosted the ratings at his own alternative reality...NBC's 'The Apprentice.'

And it has also boosted his own sense of presidential potential. In a statement the mogul states, I am not willing to give up my right to run as an independent candidate, Reuters reported. Therefore, so that there is no conflict of interest within the Republican Party, I have decided not to be the moderator of the Newsmax debate.

So there. No one can fire The Donald.