5. Snake EyesIf you really want to draw the ire of PETA and animal advocates the world over, wear an animal part or the fur of a fluffy mammal. When you bring out a live animal, they can only claimed you've exploited or mistreated it. When the creature isn't breathing however, then they say you—by questionable reasoning—have murdered it. It's a win-win for both sides. Look out for animal rights backlash after a VS model will reportedly wear a replica snake made of diamonds and crystals and real snake eyes. The PETA venom will be deadly.
4. Adriana Lima And Miranda Kerr Are Back5. Angel fans love tradition. That's why we love “Angels in the Infield” and “Angels in the Outfield,” and it's also why we love that VS mainstays Adriana Lima and Miranda Kerr are back. This way, when VS struts out some 6-foot-tall Russian 18-year-old, we can at least say we remember Lima and Kerr.
3. Cameron RussellOf course, the VS show has always been about profligate extravagance above all else. Angel Cameron Russell will be donning $5 million in jewels to honor VS's 10-year relationship with Swarovski.
2. Bieber, Rihanna, and Bruno Mars Are PerformingAny overblown spectacle with women dressed up as angels needs a musical accompaniment, of course, and who's better suited for that role than some of America's top pop acts. For the VS show, Rihanna, Justin Bieber, and Bruno Mars are slated to perform.
1. Alessandra Ambrosio And The Fantasy BraThe centerpiece of every VS show, as any attentive pervert or loyal viewer knows, is the Fantasy Bra, a brassiere redesigned every year and bestowed upon one special model. This year, Alessandra Ambrosio wears the $2.5 piece containing a 20-carat white diamond and 5,200 other gems set in 18-carat rose and yellow gold. Modest, we know.
Now that we've elected a president and laughed heartily at Karl Rove, we can finally devote all of our time to the most important event of the year. Yes, you guessed it, fellas -- the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is tonight.
But you don't want to go out there and be that guy who asks why Kirsty Alley isn't on the runway. You have to come prepared to watch the VS fashion show, because there's plenty of folks out there who play for keeps and they won't tolerate your buffoonery.
After all, we're talking about angel's here (albeit ones wearing lingerie worth more than Cameroon's GDP.)
At the VS show tonight, there's a lot to look out for. If you're going to a viewing party held in your creepy buddy's basement, you'll need to know this stuff when you show up with Cool Ranch Doritos.
Here are five things to look out for tonight so your friends don't throw you in the other room to watch repeats of “Extreme Couponing."