The season finale of “American Horror Story: Coven” is here whether you want it or not. Episode 13, “The Seven Wonders,” opened up with Stevie Nicks singing the Fleetwood mac song, "Seven Wonders," as the girls practice for the upcoming ritual. But how did the girls make out during the test? We’re breaking down the Seven Wonders in the finale:
Since Fiona didn’t identify a successor (and attempted to kill one) all four of the girls have a chance to prove themselves. But only one will succeed in completing all Seven Wonders.
First up is Telekinesis. Kyle lights four candles and all four girls succeed in using their mind to lure the candle to them.
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The second test is concilium in which the girls must bend the “strongest of wills to desire. Misty day succeeds when she forces Queenie to slap herself, and Queenie passes when she makes Misty Day pull her own hair. Things turn nasty when Madison not only forces Zoe to slap herself, but lures Kyle over to kiss her and then lick her shoe. Zoe retaliates by lifting Kyle off of Madison’s shoes and bringing him over to make out with her. However Madison got the last bite in by forcing Kyle to strangle Zoe. Fortunately for Zoe, Cordelia used her magic to push Kyle away.
The third part of the Seven Wonders is to descend into the afterlife and return. However if the four witches don’t come back by sunrise they’re stuck in hell for life. Queenie heads to her chicken hell and returns first. Madison comes back next, discovering the her hell is being stuck on a network musical – the live version of the “Sound of Music.” Zoe returns next and reveals that her hell was continuously breaking up with Kyle. As for Misty Day? She ends up stuck in hell, forced to cut open a live frog over and over again in biology class.
Cordelia begs for the girls to help as Misty Day runs out of time, but Myrtle insists that Misty Day’s time is up – and the witch disappears in a puff of dust,
After (very) briefly mourning the loss of Misty Day, the witches move onto transmutation. All three remaining witches manage to perform transmutation and turn it into a game of tag. However Cordelia warns them the power isn’t something to play with … and Zoe finds out the hard way when she accidentally impales herself on the fence of the Academy.
With Zoe accidentally killing herself, Cordelia makes Queenie and Madison quickly move onto the next test, Vitalum Vitalis. Queenie desperately wants to bring Zoe back but can’t do it and gets eliminated from the Supremecy. Kyle is visibly upset but Madison refuses to bring Zoe back. When Myrtle suggest that Madison’s not the next Supreme, Madison decides to perform Vitalum Vitalis … but on a fly, not Zoe.
“She lost,” Madison insists. But Myrtle is not letting her take the Supreme title that easy. “If you refuse this then you don’t deserve to be Supreme,” Myrtle tells Madison.
“Either crown me or kiss my a**,” Madison responds, threatening to pull a Fiona and abandon the Coven.
With the Coven seemingly in ruins, Myrtle suggests one last resort. “You have royal blood in your veins,” she tells Cordelia. “You must perform the Seven Wonders.”
Cordelia catches up to Madison and performs all the seven wonders already completed. When she arrives at divination Madison decides that she is back in the game.
For this part of the test Cordelia and Madison must use pebbles to find the location of a specific item that belonged to a former Supreme. While Fiona manages to do so, Madison fails to. Acting like a sore loser, Madison tells them that she’s leaving to go back to Hollywood and can’t wait to tell TMZ everything about the Coven.
But Madison doesn’t make it that far. In the middle of packing, Madison is attacked by a devastated Kyle who strangles her for letting Zoe die. When she dies, Spalding returns from beyond the grave to once again claim her body for his collection.
The New Supreme
Cordelia completed the Seven Wonders by bringing Zoe back to life. As for the Supreme being in “radiant health”? That’s not a problem when Cordelia magically regains her eyes again.
Cordelia begins her reign as Supreme by taking the Coven’s story to national TV. “We are not a cult,” she explains to a reporter. “We have no agenda. We are not recruiting … women are born as such.”
Her message reaches the masses and soon Miss Robichaux’s Academy is receiving applications and has a line of potential witches out the door. But before Cordelia can welcome these girls into the Coven, she has some unfinished business to take care of.
Myrtle demands that Cordelia “Clear the rot of the past” by burning her at the stake … again. “I killed and I must pay for it,” Myrtle says, referring to Pembroke and Quentin. And while Cordelia initially refuses to kill her “true mother,” Myrtle refuses to let her be a hypocrite. Burning Myrtle at the stake, her last words are: “Balenciagaaaaaa.”
With Myrtle gone, Cordelia appoints Zoe and Queenie as her new council members and asks for their help in developing and celebrating witches. But before the three can welcome the new witches to the Coven, Cordelia still has one more piece of unfinished business to take care of … Fiona.
As predicted by “American Horror Story” fans, Fiona wasn’t truly dead. The Supreme reveals that she placed the vision of her slaughter in the Axeman’s grave in order to wait out the new Supreme. She had plans on returning and killing the chosen witch, but was surprised to find that her daughter became the next Supreme.
Bald and very ill, Cordelia realizes that Fiona didn’t come to kill her – she came hoping that Cordelia would put her out of her misery. But Cordelia won’t do that. Instead, Cordelia and Fiona hug it out and Fiona passes away in her daughter’s arms.
However Fiona’s not going to heaven. She’s immediately sent straight to hell where she finds herself walking up in a country home with the Axeman. “The place wreaks of fish, cat p*ss,” Fiona yells. “What is that knotty pine?”
“I’m in heaven,” the Axeman replies … but Papa Legba is laughing in the background.
What did you think of the “American Horror Story: Coven” finale? Let us know in the comments section.