“How I Met Your Mother” continued with its ninth and final season on Monday with episode 3, “Last Time In New York.” Barney and Robin’s wedding weekend shenanigans continued, this time on Friday at 2 p.m. with 52 hours before the nuptials.
So, where is the gang at? Read on to find out.
Barney and Robin realize that they don’t have much time left to each other “until those old b***ards latch onto us like leeches” … meaning their family members. The pair set off to find a place to have sex but end up hitting a few roadblocks along the way.
Marshall’s still driving to Farhampton with Daphne, and fortunately he’s a little closer than Minnesota – he’s in Wisconsin … home of the Vikings' rival, the Green Bay Packers. Meanwhile, Lily is still coping without having her husband and son with her by having a continuous flow of alcohol brought to her by Linus.
Lily sits down with Ted and finds that he has a list of things that he wants to do before he leaves New York for Chicago. So, what’s on the list?
-Grab a drink with his favorite students.
-Watch one last sunset over the Hudson.
-Fix the graffiti on 96th and Amsterdam. (Ted wants to change “Your a penis” to “You’re a penis.”)
-Buy the whole bar a round of drinks.
-Say goodbye to the Empire State Building. (Ted claims he does not have “objectophilia.”)
-Finally tell his upstairs neighbor how he’s been feeling all this time (“Are your shoes made of lead?” he asks his neighbor ... who turns out to be a hot blonde.)]
-Come clean about April 26.
Now you may be wondering what happened on April 26 … and it has to do with the dress that Lily was supposed to wear to the wedding rehearsal dinner. Earlier in the episode, Lily tells Daphne on the phone that the “drunks at the dry cleaners” destroyed her dress. But thanks to a flashback, we know that what actually happened is that Marshall was supposed to bring her dress to the dry cleaners on April 26 but instead got distracted when Ted brought over their old swords.
“How I Met Your Mother” fans will remember that they got rid of the swords after Marshall almost killed Lily with it. And since she was out of the house on April 26, Marshall and Ted didn’t see any harm in playing with the swords. But their fight got a little wild and ended with Ted slicing Lily’s dress in half.
Needless to say, Lily was not happy to learn how her dress met its gruesome fate. Ted’s punishment? Wear a “Where’s Waldo”-esque oldtimer’s swimsuit. Marshall’s punishment? Wear Green Bay Packers gear … including the big cheesehead hat.
And this brings us to Ted’s final thing on his “to-do” list and only thing not crossed off – Drink scotch with Barney. While Lily believes that Ted’s trying to avoid Barney, Ted insists that he’s just waiting to drink the special 30-year-old scotch when Marshall gets there … and this leads to another flashback to April 26.
It turns out that Marshall and Ted’s sword fight wasn’t the only one to go down that day – Robin and Lily also had one! But instead of slicing a dress, the girls accidentally knocked over Marshall and Ted’s beloved bottle of old scotch. So instead of fessing up to the act, Lily and Robin peeled the label off the scotch and put it on a gin bottle. Since the gin was a little lighter than the scotch, they made a new concoction including ketchup, chocolate syrup and hand sanitizer.
Lily decides to keep quiet about her April 26 secret … even when Ted whips out the bottle and decides to take a sip before Marshall gets there. But fortunately Ted can’t admit that the scotch is terrible and Lily manages to get away with replacing his highly anticipated scotch.
Meanwhile, Robin and Barney are still trying to find a room where they can go hook up. Going to hide in a closet at the hotel, they stumble into James … who is also hiding. And like a good brother, James is ready to bite the bullet to allow Barney and Robin one last steamy moment before the wedding chaos breaks out.
“You can’t go out there, it’s suicide,” Barney tells James. “Consider it your early wedding present,” he responds before sacrificing himself to their old family members.
With James keeping the family members occupied, Barney and Robin hatch a plan to go meet in the hotel’s computer room (technology is the Achilles heel of old people). But before Robin can get there she finds Ted and Lily … and Ted’s to-do list.
Lily admits to making the list to give Ted more time, but tells him that he has to stop avoiding Barney. Admitting that she’s right, Ted goes to meet Barney, who immediately confronts him and says: “I saw Robin with you at the carousel.”
What did you think of episode 3 of “How I Met Your Mother”? Let us know in the comments section.