The Katy Perry wardrobe malfunction scandal was concocted by bored media outlets with nothing better to do than try to make a mountain out of a nip-hill.

The photo in question (see below) is by no means a wardrobe malfunction. The spaghetti strap on Katy Perry's pretty tasteful dress slipped down for a sec, and nothing was revealed. That's it, end of story, nothing to see here.

But the media machine kicked into gear as always, and it's been made out to be the next Janet Jackson Super Bowl nip slip (again, an overblown attempt at creating controversy where it doesn't exist -- shoutout to M.I.A.)

But in reality, it's a made for the gossip pages fabrication, designed to bring traffic to websites aimed at getting said traffic by any means necessary.

The cult of celebrity makes us believe that this type of thing (or non-thing, in this instance) is shocking, interesting, worth checking out, not corporate schlock shoved down our willing throats.

But in reality, we could find full-on bestiality porn by typing a different couple of words into a search box, and there's no controversy there. The defiler hasn't been crowned famous by those who decide what we should care about.

So give it a rest, those of you who are trying to determine whether that speck rising above her plunging neckline is a piece of nipple, a shadow, or just a speck of dust stuck to your greasy monitor. It's all a bunch of b.s. designed to distract you no matter how you slice it. And I'm eating it up, too, as this rant took away 15 minutes of my life that I'll never get back. You can't escape.