Haven’t seen Kris Jenner’s new talk show yet? Neither has anyone else, essentially. The “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” reality star’s show has not been getting the best reviews. Instead of trying to make her show more entertaining, or revealing granddaughter North West, (something practically everyone wants to see), the Kardashian matriarch tried to bribe one of her critics. Let’s just say it didn’t pan out the way she might have wanted.

After New York Post critic Linda Stasi wrote that “Kris” "is so horrible it should come with a hazard warning," and the 57-year-old reality star "comes across as a spoiled, vacuous woman with nothing to say of any interest, importance or humor."

Having a talk show is something Jenner has always wanted, so if there’s something money could fix in order to make her television dream come true, she’s willing to dish out some cold hard cash. According to Huffington Post, which said Jenner was far from being a host on the same level as Ellen DeGeneres or Kelly Rippa, the raven-haired reality star sent Stasi some goodies to win her over.

What kind of bribe, exactly, you may be wondering? Oh, just a dozen Magnolia cupcakes and a $325 sterling silver pen from Tiffany’s, not to mention an over-the-top note that read: "Dear Linda, Sorry you didn’t like the show. I’m still a huge fan of your column. Love and blessings, Kris. P.S. When you think I’ve improved, maybe you will write a better REVIEW with this!”

Jenner might have thought it was a good idea, but the bribery attempt did not sit well with Stasi, who wrote that she will not be bough, and that the best way for the Kardashian "momager" to improve her ratings would be to "somehow become interesting, which, given the data, seems as likely as the Pope turning Jewish.” Ouch.

It’s imperative for Jenner to get stellar ratings since “Fox” only gave her a six-week contract. If she doesn’t rake in the numbers soon, she’s out.