Joining a growing list of female celebrities who have recently revealed eating disorders, including Lady Gaga and Katie Couric, singer Nicole Scherzinger revealed in a new interview that she suffered from an “addiction” to bulimia for years.
In an interview for VH1’s “Behind The Music,” which will air Oct. 7, the 34-year-old admitted for the first time that she suffered from a longtime struggle with bulimia while touring with the Pussycat Dolls. The Hawaiian-born former lead singer and “X Factor” judge said that she kept silent about her eating disorder out of shame and fear of hurting her family.
"It's embarrassing,” said Scherzinger. “ I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know?”
“I just hated myself,” said Scherzinger, of her time spent with the Pussycat Dolls. “I hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life.”
Ashley Roberts, another former member of the all-girl group who spoke in the interview said that everyone in the Pussycats Dolls knew about Scherzinger’s eating disorder.
“We all knew,” said Roberts. “I saw the scars on her fingers.”
Scherzinger, who recently her gig on the U.S. version of “X Factor” but judges on the British show, says she was nervous about revealing the eating disorder.
"I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction. It's like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I'd come back to my room and I'd be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction," she said. “I did it every day for, like, years. Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I'd try to hide those. I think the girls could tell."
Now allegedly recovered from the disease, Scherzinger decided to film a PSA for the website Half Of Us to raise awareness about the potentially deadly eating disorder.