Her time with the Pussycat Dolls seemed to be full of glitz, glamor and fierce eight counts. But Nicole Scherzinger recently revealed she was hiding a serious secret during that period of her life.
In an interview with Cosmopolitan UK, the former Pussycat Doll says her seven years with the group were a “dark” moment in her career as she battled the eating disorder bulimia. “I had such a great life on the outside, the Dolls were on top of the world, but I was miserable on the inside,” Scherzinger said.
She went on to describe how she kept her secret from her family and bandmates.
“It’s such a horrible, paralyzing disease and it was such a dark time for me. I didn’t think anyone knew in my group or in my family because I hid it that well, I was so ashamed,” she said. “I knew it wasn’t normal or healthy because I was hurting myself through this cycle of disordered eating.”
Her struggle with the disease got so bad that Scherzinger said she even began having difficulty singing.
“I had started losing my voice, I couldn’t sing at shows, and then I remember my manager finding me passed out on the floor in Malta or in the south of France,” she recalled. “I thought, ‘I’m going to lose everything I love if I don’t love myself’ … I’m never letting that happen again; you only got one life — I was 27 only once.”
Scherzinger says she is sharing her story because she wants others dealing with similar issues to know they can survive and recover from an eating disorder.
The singer also spoke about her relationship with her sweetheart, Formula 1 race car driver Lewis Hamilton. She told the magazine that they are successfully maintaining a long-distance relationship despite the challenges of not being able to always be together.
"Well it’s something crazy romantic. Relationships are hard and having to hold a long-distance relationship is even harder. It’s kudos to us for growing and trying – there’s so much love there. It’s just the distance, it’s not natural for anyone. But I’m good and I’m happy,” she said.
The pair recently celebrated their sixth anniversary in Venice.