10. “When I'm elected president, I'll shut down the Federal Reserve and make that Ben Bernanke fellow build a damn fence on the Mexican border.”

9. “I’m all for limited government – as long as I get to be the guy at the top callin’ all the shots.”

8. “Yeah, even I think my son Rand is one creepy, insane, disturbing, weirdo.”

7. “No, I think I'll keep Medicare and Medicaid. I mean, where else will I get my large supply of 'crazy pills'?

6. Unlike many other politicians, I've never cheated on my wife. Luckily for me, my goofy appearance and uncharismatic personality really turns off the chicks.”

5. “I think Kim Jong-il was vastly misunderstood.”

4. “We don't need the CIA. For intelligence purposes, all we really need is Max, 99, the Chief and Larabee to keep KAOS at bay.”

3. “Mitt Romney? That guy's so handsome; he had me at 'hello'!!”

2. “Just because I hate blacks and Jews don't mean I'm racist or anti-Semitic!”

1. “America is a great country, ain't it? Where else could a mentally deranged nutcase like me become a viable presidential candidate??”