Not a single day passes without a new rumor regarding the launch date and features of Apple's next generation iPhone, and one has to admit majority of them are unsubstantiated, baseless or just ridiculous.

Some iPhone 5 rumors are the kind that make you laugh, too. They give the idea that iPhone 5 is intuitive, the kind of device that would walk over to you when the phone rings.

The new iPhone is definitely going to be a phone, and most likely nothing more than that. Many believe that it will be merging with the iPad 2 for a gigantic screen. This is not likely going to be a reality. Nor will it be some version of a tablet PC, either.

iPhone mockup with bigger screen:

Orange CEO Stephane Richard stated that the next generation would be thinner and lighter than the iPhone 4. It sounded like he is making a wild guess, based on the fact that Apple is working on smaller SIM cards. But a smaller SIM card will not lead to a thinner and lighter iPhone. After all, it is not the SIM card which is adding to the weight and dimensions.

Sure, Apple is facing competition from Android devices, but that definitely wouldn't force a company like Apple to churn out devices which are smaller (in this context the iPhone Nano) or devices that have a physical keypad. Apple has always been criticizing the inconvenience, variety of devices and fragmentation cause in Android's platform. When that is the case, why would Apple try a similar strategy? It is hard to imagine Apple indulging in a tug of war with its competitors.

Here is the thinner, lighter iPhone mockup:


iPhone mockup with slid-out physical QWERTY keypad:


Now, if all this isn't enough, there is a rumor which says that the new iPhone will have absolutely no memory! According to those who propagate zero-memory iPhone, new iPhone users would store all the data in the iCloud. Cloud is definitely a good idea and Apple might incorporate the technology, but an iPhone with absolutely no memory is not what we can expect at present. Where would you keep apps? The new iPhone won't even be able to find a number offline? A minimum of 8GB built-in storage makes more sense.

Yet another rumor that is borderline to stupidity is about the iPhone's curved glass display. Apparently, Apple has placed an order for glass cutting machines which are capable of making curved glass covers, but iPhone 5 won't have curved glass display.

Many are talking about iPhone 5 being fire-proof, because Apple has filed a patent application for an advanced halogen-free flame retardant material which could be used in future Apple products. While a water-proof iPhone makes some sense, why would anyone need a fire-proof phone? However, it will come in handy to record your parting message if in case you get trapped in a burning down building.

According to rumor-mongers, Apple is planning to set up a social networking feature for its new iPhone. Not the regular feature that we imagine, but something extra-intuitive that is most likely to freak out users. The new iPhone would analyze your habits, tastes, lifestyle, aptitudes, travels and the like and would find people who share the same bandwidth. Which means you don't have to find your own friends! iPhone will get you friends, which will be by and large error-free because its super-fine technology would be able to find the most compatible friends for every user!

Comic posted on AllThingsD:


Credit: AllThingsD

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