“Shameless” returned Sunday with the premiere of Season 5. Curious what happened in episode 1, “Milk of the Gods”? Well, we’ve recapped all the nutty, hilarious moments from the first episode of the newest Showtime installment, starting with Frank’s (William H. Macy) startling experience in bed.

The Season 5 premiere of “Shameless” kicked off with the Gallagher patriarch abruptly waking from his slumber due to overcrowding in his bunk. So, how did Frank solve the problem of feeling squished? Well, he knocked poor Chuckie (Kellen Michael), who was donning an “I love my grandpa” T-shirt, out of bed.

But according to the plot of episode 1, Frank needed his beauty sleep to create his "contribution to mankind.” After scoring some help from Debbie (Emma Kenney), who was experiencing difficulties with her friends at school, Frank was able to create the “strongest beer ever made.” But from Frank’s facial expression after slurping down the woody undertone, bacon-flavored 130 proof drink, we have a feeling his beverage was the “most disgusting beer ever made.”

While Frank was supporting his drinking habit, Fiona (Emmy Rossum) was supporting her family. Fiona is working at a diner as a waitress and not doing too shabby. Everyone seems fond of the server, including the hot musician (Axle Whitehead) who requested the her specifically, Fiona’s boss Sean (Dermot Mulroney) and the pie-loving patron Angela (Dichen Lachman).

Angela, who you may remember as the girl in the very last scene of the Season 4 finale with Jimmy/Steve/Jack (Justin Chatwin), was spotted giving Fiona a $100 tip for a slice of pie and a coffee. Could the gracious gratuity have something to do with Jimmy being back in town?

However, despite all the attention Fiona received, it seemed as though she only had eyes for her employer. And we have to admit, we really like those two together (even if Sean did call Fiona out for stealing pie).

And Fiona wasn’t the only Gallagher who was smitten! It looked as though Lip (Jeremy Allen White) met his match while in college. Before returning home for the summer, Lip and Amanda (Nichole Bloom) came to an understanding that each would date around during the break -- a deal Lip began to regret once he returned to the South Side. When Lip finally came home, he realized he’s no longer interested in hanging around with the rebellious crew and more concerned about what his current crush is up to in Miami.

Like Lip, Mickey (Noel Fisher) has also evolved. "I'm a respectable person now," he claimed. While Mickey spent his day making money for his growing family (by selling stolen goods) and avenging his workers, Ian (Cameron Monaghan) spent his morning food shopping, hooking up with a random stranger at a super market, having an affair with a bus boy at Fiona’s restaurant and then returning home to his beau. Both Fiona and Lip are worried Ian has spiraled out of control, but Mickey turned his cheek to the problem.

If you’re wondering what’s up with Kev (Steve Howey) and Vee (Veronica Fisher), you’re in luck -- because a lot is going on with South Side’s newest parents. Vee is not enjoying motherhood at all. If her nipples aren't being chomped on by the twins, she's being doused in vomit and human excrement.

“I want my life back,” Vee said to Fiona after fleeing her hectic household. She then decided instead of staying home with the babies, she would leave Kev in charge while she went to work at the Alibi.

But one of the most exciting moments of the Season 5 premiere of “Shameless” was the hilarious rivalry between Sheila (Joan Cusack) and Sammi (Emily Bergl). The two ladies went head-to-head, fighting over Frank's attention -- and it's pretty safe to say that Sammi's winning. 

“If you don’t start playing daddy, things are only going to get worse,” Sheila warned Frank. We can't wait to see how that storyline plays out!

"Shameless" will return for more drama on Sunday, Jan. 18, with the airing of Season 5, episode 2, "I'm The Liver."