10. South Carolina voters thought they were voting for 'Charleston dogcatcher.'
9. Gingrich's extraordinary handsome looks and stirring charisma melted voters' hearts.
8. Gingrich convinced people that Mormonism is an offshoot of radical Islam.
7. Most people were too distraught by Heidi Klum's impending divorce from Seal to bother going out to vote.
6. Gingrich offered every voter $5,000 in cash and a coupon for free chicken cacciatore at Olive Garden.
5. South Carolinians have a soft spot in their hearts for fat, ugly, immoral sleazeballs.
4. Gingrich proposed marriage to Governor Nikki Haley.
3. South Carolina people have an average IQ of about negative-34.
2. Mitt Romney vowed he would establish strict Sharia law in South Carolina.
1 Newt offered 15 minutes with Callista to every male voter in the state.