"Higgs boson," "Large Hadron Collider (LHC)" and "CERN" seem to have more or less become household words, even though it will take many patient sessions with a physicist to fully understand what is going on at CERN and what are the implications of a research of this large a scale.

"Groundbreaking" will be an understatement if the hugely anticipated discovery of Higgs boson really occurs. Speculations and wild theories about the elusive God Particle see no end, with regular reports as well as spoofs flooding the Internet. A Higgs boson cartoon posted at Abstruse Goose, which seemed to impart a mysterious super-heroic aura to the particle, went viral.  

The Higgs boson spoofs don't seem to be limited to a cartoon or two. Setting the physics of the progressing experiment aside, extensively plotted stories, open letters and even an LHC Rap are making the rounds of the Internet, amusing netizens.

Cartoon posted at Abstruse Goose:

"Cartoon

Cartoon by Abstruse Goose

Via: Abstruse Goose  

 

Letter to Higgs Boson from CERN:

"Spoof

Spoof by Abstruse Goose

 

Via: Abstruse Goose

What happens if you accidentally eat Higgs Boson?

Michael Rottman of The Morning News posted a satirical piece titled "In the Event That You Have Accidentally Swallowed the Higgs Boson" which explains 10 crucial steps to be followed in case you accidentally ingest the Higgs Boson!

1. Do not panic. Resist the urge to induce vomiting. If the Higgs boson gets stuck in your teeth, they could turn into pure light.

2. If you happen to ingest the Higgs boson in Europe, proceed to the CERN laboratory in Geneva. Don't take the airport tram, take the special bus from Meyrin. Make sure you are carrying no metallic objects, as the Large Hadron Collider's magnetic field is 100,000 times more powerful than the average planet's. If you are not in Europe, proceed to your nearest hospital, preferably one with a particle physics ward.

(Read all ten steps for a good dose of Higgs Boson induced laugh)

A story posted at conspiracycafe.net under the title "Man Arrested At Large Hadron Collider Claims He's From The Future" is a spoof of the wild theories which speculated that Higgs Boson from future was responsible for sabotaging the experiment! One such theory posted in New York Times quoting Holger Bech Nielsen, of the Niels Bohr Institute in Copenhagen, and Masao Ninomiya of the Yukawa Institute for Theoretical Physics in Kyoto, Japan, states, "the hypothesized Higgs boson... might be so abhorrent to nature that its creation would ripple backward through time and stop the collider before it could make one, like a time traveler who goes back in time to kill his grandfather."

Man from Future Arrested

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.

Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

(Read full story for yet another dose of Higgs Boson laugh)

The Tufted Titmouse Blog has posted a video "Large Hadron Rap" 

Via: The Tufted Titmouse (See lyrics here)

Story of Lesboson

Cracked.com has a short sci-fi post on time travel, particularly referring to the Grandfather paradox. (In simple terms Grandfather Paradox points to the physical impossibility of someone killing his own grandfather by travelling back in time which destroys the primary cause of his own existence)

Description: A Tina loves being a lesbian. Seriously. Shes just like, all about it, man. Loves to do lesbian things: Tai Chi lessons, Kombucha, going to Baby Gap to window shop. But when she and her seven closest friends (one of whom is a paraplegic) are trapped in that last thing for some reason, it becomes clear that somebody is not who she says she is, and has in fact traveled back from the future for the sole reason of preventing herself from being born.

Logline: Six and a half lesbians are trapped in a Baby Gap and one of them is the Higgs Boson particle.

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