Get ready to break out your red leather vests and elaborately themed gang outfits, because New York is about to get a whole lot more terrifying. With the election of quasi-Communist Democrat Bill de Blasio as mayor on Tuesday, New York is set to plunge back into the dark, crime-ridden depths of the ‘70s, as street gangs like the Warriors and the Baseball Furies fight it out for control of the streets.
Obviously, as de Blasio advances his Socialist agenda throughout New York, the NYPD will be rendered useless on the way to a lawless, chaotic dystopia. Step into the Thunderdome and check out 10 of the most horrifying visions of New York’s imminent future, courtesy of Twitter’s resident psychics.
Dawn breaks over Park Slope. Hedge fund billionaires are already toiling in the kale fields. #DeBlasiosNYC
â€” James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) November 6, 2013
Oh nothing, just waiting for the bus to take me to the collectivist farm upstate. Wife's at coop waiting in line for bread #deblasiosNYC
â€” marcus baram (@mbaram) November 6, 2013
Manhattan to be renamed Peoplehattan #deblasiosnewyork
â€” Ivan the K™ (@IvanTheK) November 6, 2013
Our fireplace is merely decorative, but that's OK. I'm gonna build a fire in the trashcan on the corner. #DeBlasiosNYC
â€” Meredith Modzelewski (@meredithmo) November 6, 2013
Williamsburg's Warriors-style gang is called The Freelance Graphic Designers. #deblasiosnewyork
â€” Maggie Serota (@maggieserota) November 6, 2013
Squeegee men wipe down stopped bicycles #deblasiosnewyork
â€” Brokelyn (@Brokelyn) November 6, 2013
Young residents finally see what inspired all those Ramones songs #deblasiosnewyork
â€” Anthony Bialy (@AnthonyBialy) November 6, 2013
Think I just saw a baby selling drugs on a street corner. #deblasiosnewyork
â€” Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) November 6, 2013
Spike Lee to start making good movies again. #DeBlasiosNewYork
â€” Benjamin R. Freed (@brfreed) November 6, 2013
The Mets will play in Che Stadium. #deblasiosnewyork
— Downtown Josh Brown (@ReformedBroker) November 6, 2013
Eric Brown is an IBTimes reporter who eats far too much pizza. He is a graduate of Mercer University in Macon, Georgia, and currently resides in Brooklyn.