Free agent NBA center Jason Collins shocked the sports world in April, becoming the first active professional athlete to come out as openly gay. While the vast majority of sports pundits and contemporaries rallied to support Collins’ decision, former fiancée Carolyn Moos has revealed that she remains “deeply hurt” by the revelation.

Moos, 35, reveals in the August issue of Cosmopolitan that Collins didn’t say that he was gay until the day that his now-infamous Sports Illustrated column was slated to hit newsstands. Furthermore, Moos claims that Collins never informed her that he had written such an article. Collins revealed his sexuality in a cover story for the May 6 issue of Sports Illustrated.

While Moos emphasized that she remains supportive of Collins, she is still struggling to understand the dissolution of the former couple’s eight-year relationship. "A month before I was set to marry the man I loved, he called off the wedding. I had no idea why. He and I had been together for eight years. We had planned to have children, build a family. Nearly four years later, I got my answer,” Moos wrote for Cosmopolitan.

"Jason told me he’s gay over the phone on a Monday morning in April, the same day the magazine hit newsstands," Moos continued. "However, he didn’t mention the article—that came as a surprise when I heard about it from a friend.”

Collins and Moos met in 1997, when they were both attending Stanford University. However, they didn’t start dating until 2001. “We looked at each other and almost simultaneously asked why we hadn't dated in college. I felt incredibly attracted to him,” Moos wrote of their initial romance. The couple became engaged in 2008, but broke up suddenly in 2009, when Collins decided to call off the impending marriage. Moos did not learn the reason behind the decision until Collins admitted that he was gay.

“I wish he could have been honest with me years ago. I feel like there are two Jasons now—the man I fell in love with and the man I'm trying so hard to understand. He's being hailed as a pioneer, but I believe true heroism is a result of being honest with yourself and with those you love,” Moos wrote in Cosmopolitan.

Moos spent time in the WNBA, while Collins played 12 NBA seasons for various franchises, including the New Jersey Nets and the Washington Wizards. Collins remains the only active NBA player to come out as openly gay.