Dads have some of the best senses of humor around. Look no further than Phil Dunphy of ABC’s hit show “Modern Family,” whose corny and sometimes stale dad jokes have been a major hit with viewers. In honor of funny dads everywhere, here are 15 hilarious one-liners and short stories to share on Father’s Day.
The tradition of Father’s Day dates back to 1910 with the first celebration in Spokane, Washington. The governor of the state declared the nation’s first Father’s Day that year, and the holiday has fallen on the third Sunday of June ever since.
The day is about honoring the bonds between dads and their kids. While not a federally-recognized holiday, Father’s Day certainly has become an institution all its own. When words fail you, here’s some humor to fill in the silence and to get dad chuckling.
1. “For Father’s Day we got my dad a t-shirt that says ‘Do Not Resuscitate.’ He wears it whenever mom takes him to the ballet.” – Greg Tamblyn
2. “Q: How do you know your dad is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.” – Jokes4Us.com
3. “A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, ‘Ketchup!’” – myenglishpages.com
4. “Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.” – Jokes4Us.com
5. “While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, ‘Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?’ The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, ‘Yes, my little princess.’ The girl then continued, ‘That's because mommy put you in charge, right?’” – loveyoufather.com
6. “Our wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.” – Gloucester Citizen
7. “Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn? A: Where's popcorn?” – Jokes4Us.com
8. “Son: For $20, I’ll be good. Dad: Oh, yeah? When I was your age, I was good for nothing.” – Boys’ Life
9. “Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father? Tom: What? Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.” – Boys’ Life
10. “A little boy asked his father, ‘Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?’ Father replied, ‘I don't know son, I'm still paying.’ – Jokes4Us.com
11. “Just once on Father's Day I wish my kids would give me a #1 Dad mug instead of one with my actual ranking.” -- Andy Borowitz