English singer and songwriter FKA Twigs is talking about the inspiration behind her controversial “Papi Pacify” music video, wherein an abusive man is sticking his fingers down her throat.

FKA Twigs told ES Magazine that the music video is deeply personal because she used to be in an abusive relationship. Her ex-boyfriend manipulated her thoughts and opinions, so she felt like the choke was a good symbolism.

“In the relationship I couldn't communicate,” she said of her ex. “The person I was with was stopping me from explaining how I felt. So the physical manifestation is someone putting their hand in your mouth.”

But instead of fleeing from her abusive relationship, the singer admitted that part of her even enjoyed being mistreated. “But there's an element, too, of liking that as well. It's messed up. It's addictive,” she confessed.

FKA Twigs also said the images shown in the video are both “violent” and “beautiful,” and she believes other people who have suffered abusive relationships can understand.

“It's kind of sexy, like emotional abuse can be tender. That's why it's messed up,” she said. “If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, it can be tender, that's why you stay. And you stay because there's a poorly part of your mind that likes it.”

While FKA Twigs gamely talked about her music, the same cannot be said of her highly publicized engagement with “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson.

“Good luck with that,” she said when asked about Pattinson. “No questions. No chance. I'm not getting involved.”