So, Canadian Thanksgiving is Monday. You’re planning on drinking the entire weekend leading up to it because that’s fun and what else is there to do in Canada in October anyway, eh? We get it. When it’s all over, though, you’re going to need a quick-and-easy recipe to obscure the fact that you’ve not done a blessed thing to plan for this joyous family occasion.

Here’s the first thing you need to do: Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Next, consider your menu. Foods traditionally served on Thanksgiving include roasted turkey, stuffingmashed potatoes with gravy, sweet corn, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes and various fall vegetables. Click on links for the simplest recipes available.

On to the turkey. Here’s a simple recipe that just about any person can easily follow, according to the Food Network, which claims it is the world’s simplest Thanksgiving turkey recipe.

Your oven should now be preheated to 325 degrees F. Pull the neck and giblets out from the inside the turkey. Discard the liver and save the rest for gravy. Completely dry the turkey with paper towels, then season inside and out with salt and pepper. Afterward, fill the turkey with aromatics such as chopped apples, carrots and onions, as well as herbs -- you can even shove a beer can in there if that’s all you have. Then place the breast side up in a roasting pan and brush with melted butter. Tent with foil and roast for two hours (at least for a 10- to 12-pound turkey: add an extra 15 minutes per pound for larger birds). Remove the foil, baste with more melted butter and raise the oven temperature to 425 degrees F. Keep the bird in there for another hour or until the meat at the thigh registers 165 degrees F. Let your incredible creation rest while you make the gravy.

In case this is all too soul-destroying, here’s a video of Mr. Bean preparing a turkey.