Predictions 2012: A Modest Proposal

on December 30 2011 8:45 AM
  • Actress Sandra Bullock arrives at the 41st Annual NAACP Image Awards at the Shrine auditorium in Los Angeles
    Actress Sandra Bullock arrives at the 41st Annual NAACP Image Awards at the Shrine auditorium in Los Angeles, February 26, 2010. REUTERS/Danny Moloshok Reuters
  • Sandra Bullock
    Actress Sandra Bullock arrives at the 41st Annual NAACP Image Awards at the Shrine auditorium in Los Angeles, February 26, 2010. REUTERS
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What 2012 will bring: a modest proposal.

World Peace. It just wouldn't be right to start without saying that, like any good Miss America contestant, thanks so much for that trope to Sandra Bullock and her star turn in Miss Congeniality.

And since 2012 is a presidential election year in the United States, I guess, I am predicting that we will wind up with a president who is congenial. In fact, I will go on record right now and predict that this will be the most congenial race ever run, marked by deference to each difference of opinion, careful and measured rhetoric and fact-based arguments that lead the wise, who are in charge of our country, to reasoned conclusions through rational discourse.

North Korea Could Use A Good Year

Furthermore, I predict that with a new leader, Kim Jung-Un, North Korea will open itself to the outside world, which would be a good thing for them, as I hear they could really use some food. And they will join with other nuclear nations in agreeing to a non-proliferation treaty. Pakistan, having joined the U.N. Security Council, will do likewise, securing its 100 or so nuclear weapons in such a way as to prevent terrorists from getting their hands on any of them.

And speaking of the U.N. terrorists of all stripes, in fact, will decide that this is the year to take the U.N. seriously and turn to it to resolve international conflicts. We shouldn't complain, after all we pay for 25 percent of the U.N. peacekeeping budget, which saves us from doing those jobs ourselves. So that really means that to a large extent, the terrorists will be negotiating with us on our home turf. Better than trying to meet with them at their house, I say.

In Europe, countries with long adversarial histories will make the decision to engage in a unified monetary policy and save the euro, with the better-off northern European states coming to the aid of the more que sera southern nations.

Turkey will be welcomed into the European Union. And Turkey will say, no thank you.

I also predict that Michael Bloomberg will not, repeat, not run for or become President. He will start the process to allow him to become Mayor of the City of New York again, instead. After all, why take a step down?

Snooki Will Re-Gain Weight, But America Won't Care

Snooki will gain her weight back, but America won't care. She will still be more popular than Congress.

And speaking of Congress, they will decide that bacon is a vegetable, thus balancing our diets forever.

Speaking of balance, here's one last prediction. Washington will finally figure out how to tax the rich, and then figure out how to make 99 percent of Americans rich -- and taxed more.

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Tom Dworetzky is the New York Editor for the International Business Times.

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