British comedian Ricky Gervais outraged the audience at The Golden Globe awards show last night in Los Angeles. Many of the targets of his sadistic jokes were sitting in the audience, increasing the discomfort of both TV viewers and the attendants.
Here is a selection of Gervais’ most outrageous remarks from the show:
On Hugh Hefner: There's been some great new TV dramas this year, like Boardwalk Empire and The Walking Dead. Talking of the walking dead, congratulations to Hugh Hefner, who is getting married at age 84 to 24-year-old beauty Crystal Harris. When asked why she was marrying him, she said, 'He lied about his age. I thought he was 94.' Calm down; just don't look at it when you touch it.”
On the film “I Love You Phillip Morris”: Also not nominated, 'I Love You Phillip Morris… Two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay – which is the exact opposite of some famous Scientologists ... probably. My lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke.
On Charlie Sheen: It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking -- or, as Charlie Sheen calls it, breakfast. Wow, so let's get this straight, so what he did was, he picked up a porn star, paid her to have dinner with him, introduced her to his ex-wife -- as you do -- went to a hotel, got drunk, got naked, trashed the place while she was locked in a cupboard, and that was a Monday. What does he do New Year's Eve?
On Jorge Garcia, the obese character from the TV show “Lost”: One of the biggest TV events of the year was the finale of Lost. It was quite a complicated finale, and I'm not sure I understood it all. From what I can make out, the fat one ate them all.
On Angelina Jolie’s new film “The Tourist: It was a big year for 3D movies. Toy Story, Despicable Me, Tron. It seemed like everything this year was three-dimensional. Except the characters in The Tourist. I already feel bad about that joke. I tell you what, I'm jumping on the bandwagon, because I haven't even seen The Tourist. Who has? But it must be good because it's nominated, so shut up, OK? And I'd like to crush this ridiculous rumor that the only reason The Tourist was nominated was so that the foreign press of could hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. That was not the only reason; they also accepted bribes.
On Bruce Willis: Ashton Kutcher's dad.
On The Sex and the City: There were a lot of big films that didn't get nominated this year, nothing for Sex and the City 2. No, I was sure the Golden Globe for special effects would go to the team that airbrushed that poster. Girls, we know how old you are. I saw one of you in an episode of Bonanza.