Saturday Night Live featured a skit with Fred Armisen in his popular role of President Barack Obama evaluating his accomplishments as president.

Among his accomplishments, Obama counted Killing a fly on TV and bringing a white police officer and a black professor together for a beer.


Good evening and congratulations to Rio for getting the 2016 Olympics.

And to the Olympic Committee, I say Good Luck with Rio.

Now, last year I was elected with a mandate to bring this country CHANGE we could believe in and as time has passed it has become clear that this promise is troubling some people.

There are those on the right who are angry. They think that I'm turning this great country into something that resembles the Soviet Union or Nazi Germany, but that's just not the case.

Because when you look at my record it's very clear what I've done so far and that is nothing. Nada. Almost one year and nothing to show for it.

You don't believe me? You think that I'm making it up?

Take a look at this checklist:

On my first day in Office I said I'll close Guantanamo Bay. Is it closed yet? No.

I said we would be out of Iraq. Are we? Not the last time I checked.

I said we'd make improvements in the war in Afghanistan. Is it better? No, I think is actually worse.

How about health care reform? Hell, no.

I even went personally to try to bring the Olympics to Chicago in 2016.[Pause] It didn't work out.

But in this case, there is some good news with the bad. For every person who buys an American car in the next six months, you're gonna get one of these [Chicago 2016 T-shirts].

Now, I just don't see why the right is so railed up. I mean how do you think the left feels. They're the ones who should be mad.

Now, I'm sure they know I would address at least one of the things by now:

Global Warming, No.

Immigration Reform, No.

Gays in the Military, No.

Limits on Executive Powers, No.

Torture Persecutions, No.

So looking at this list, I'm seeing two big accomplishments: jack and squat.

And remember I can do whatever I want. I have majority in both houses of congress. i could make it mandatory for all gays to marry and require all cars to run on marijuana. But do I? No.

But is not all bad news. I have few accomplishments. The Cash for Clunkers program really stimulated the economy, unfortunately it was the economy of Japan.

Let's see what else... Also I killed a fly on TV, remember that?

I brought a white police officer and a black professor together for a beer. Who else could to that?

You right, Oprah, but no one else.

So please, stop saying this country is on the road to socialism, if that were actually the case, I'd be making some real changes, instead it took me four months to pick out a dog.

So all of you fluffing back supporters put away stride corner hats and all those photo shopped pictures of me as a joker because if I see any more of this hateful rhetoric I would have to take drastic action.

No, not really.

Thank you