The Top 10 Reasons to Vote for Michele Bachmann for President

 @JosephLazzaro
on August 22 2011 11:01 PM

U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., has been on the campaign trail for awhile now, a candidate for 2012 Republican Party nomination for U.S. president.

Therefore, without further delay, here are The Top 10 Reasons to Vote for Michele Bachmann for President -- announced in Late Show with David Letterman-esque fashion, from number 10 to number 1:

 

 

10. Unlike Sarah Palin, Bachmann knows that Africa is a continent.

 

9. I don't care that Bachmann didn't know that Lexington and Concord are in Massachusetts; I thought they were in Rhode Island.

 

8. I voted for George Wallace in 1968. Bachmann's an improvement.

 

7. I've read a lot about the gas lantern age in the United States, and I think we should return to living like that.

 

6. I like the way Bachmann welcomes all sections of society and walks of life; she reminds me a lot of Richard Nixon.

 

5. Former President George W. Bush met Bachmann at a campaign stop near New Orleans and said, And Bach-eee, you're doin' a heckuva job!

 

4. I don't think accurate historical knowledge of the Founding Fathers is needed to understand the U.S. Constitution. What did the Founding Fathers have to do with the Constitution, anyway?

 

3. I agree with Bachmann's habit of demonizing her opponents. If you can't demonize your opponents in a political debate, when can you?

 

2. It sure beats listening to Vice President Dick Cheney for eight years in place of President Bush, I tell you that!

 

 

And the number 1 reason -- Mr. Paul Shaffer a drum roll from the CBS Orchestra's drummer, please -- to vote for Michele Bachmann for president:

 

 

1. Bachmann has more personality than Mitt Romney does after two martinis.

 

Share this article